Bring Me to Life
by KEDme
Summary: Where do you turn when your world is falling apart? Who can you trust when you can’t trust yourself? Harry’s world has been shattered by the final battle, leaving him in limbo… a place of loneliness, depression, and misery. Who will be his light? And
1. Everybody's Fool

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning: **This story contains sexual content and implied drug use. If that bothers you or you are under age, please do not read.

**Everybody's Fool**

**A/N:** This is Part One of Two, a seven-chapter introduction of sorts. In other words, some things will not be resolved by the end. Pay attention to the titles and lyrics excerpts… they were chosen carefully to help you understand the problems the characters are facing and contribute to the story. Part Two is planned but is still a WIP. It will not be published until it is 100 complete. Updates for this story will be once a week for seven consecutive weeks. I hope you enjoy it!

Harry hesitated just outside the doorway. Beads of sweat droplets formed on his forehead and rolled down the back of his neck as the struggle inside him intensified. He was standing outside the Burrow, inches away from the door, and he just couldn't do it.

There was no bona fide explanation why he couldn't enter the only place other than Hogwarts he had ever called home. The truth was the Burrow was more of a home to him than Privet Drive had ever been. He hadn't spent much time here, but that didn't matter to him. This ramshackle house represented everything he had ever wanted in life but could never have – not anymore. Not ever.

Harry closed his eyes tightly trying to ward off the truth of that thought, but it was no use. He was what he was. Nothing and nobody could change it.

"Harry?" a familiar feminine voice said from nearby.

Harry's eyes flew open with a startled snap. Ginny stood in the doorway, her mane of red hair glinted golden in the late afternoon sun. Her eyes were wrinkled in confusion as she stared at him, waiting for an explanation that would not come.

"What are you doing out there?" she asked gently. Her voice sent shivers down his back and he ducked his head to stop her seeing the effect her voice alone had on him.

"I…," he stuttered awkwardly, "I was just…" He looked around for an excuse, his eyes travelling upward to the waning sun. "I was enjoying the last of the warm weather," he lied. His eyes refused to find hers because he knew she'd see through him. She always did. She searched his face, seeming to reach into his thoughts, and he glanced away nervously, thankful that she didn't press him. "Why aren't you out back with the others?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I came inside to get something. When I glanced up at the clock I noticed your hand moving from travelling to home, but when you didn't come inside right away you had me worried."

"Oh," he said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Well, stop sulking out there and come in and join the party," she said a little too brightly, gesturing for him to come inside. "Everyone else is here already." She stepped aside to give him access to the house, holding the door open for him as he passed. "You're late as usual," she said, amusement flickering below the surface.

"Yeah," he said meekly, looking up at her apologetically through long fringe he had not bothered to cut. "Sorry about that. Happy birthday, Ginny."

She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek pretending she didn't notice when he flinched. "You're forgiven," she said tenderly. She led the way back to the kitchen and he followed meekly, his eyes on the floor. "Would you mind helping me carry out these plates?" she asked as soon as they crossed the threshold, handing him an armload without bothering to wait for his reply.

As she turned he couldn't help admiring her retreating silhouette from behind, causing a painful lump to form in his chest. She hadn't changed a bit in two years except to get more beautiful. His mouth went dry as she grabbed an elastic out of a drawer and pulled her hair up, exposing her bare neck to Harry. He sighed inwardly, knowing that she had absolutely no idea what kind of effect she had on him. Every breath was torture. He closed his eyes to her briefly before she forced him to flee. As it was, it took every ounce of strength he had to stop himself from bolting out the door, away from this madness – this torment.

She must have been worried about his lack of conversation because she paused to glance back at him. "Sorry," she apologized, a tiny blush appearing on her freckled cheeks. "It's really warm out there."

"S'okay," he shrugged, forgetting momentarily that he was holding an armload of dishes. He struggled to keep from dropping them, conscious that his stomach was doing an unpleasant flip flop that intensified when she came over to help.

"There," she said softly, stabilizing him. "They must be heavy. Let me take a few of those off your hands."

Reluctantly he allowed her to take some of the plates, feeling immediate relief as his heavy load suddenly became lighter. Silently he trudged behind her, his eyes on the ground, as they made their way out into the garden.

Immediately his ears, accustomed to silence, were accosted with lively sounds. Someone must have put up a mass of Silencing Charms around the area, he reckoned, otherwise every Muggle in the vicinity of Ottery St. Catchpole would have been able to hear the noise of the wizard party going on behind the Weasley's house. Music from the Wizard Wireless Network blared, people laughed, and conversation was everywhere. Tables laden with food, candles, and presents were scattered here and there, while dancing fairy lights hung from almost every limb of the trees. The paper globes that housed the vain little creatures lit the darkened area invitingly. Since the Weasley garden was on the opposite side of the house from the setting sun it was much darker back here. The fairies were doing their jobs superbly, bathing the garden in a warm, ethereal glow.

Following Ginny's lead, Harry set the plates on a nearby table then looked around to see who else had come. Ginny was already engaged in conversation with a group of people Harry recognized from school. Tons of people had come for the party. He couldn't ever recall seeing this many people packed into the tiny back garden before, and he felt an ugly stab of jealousy as he observed the numerous males who had decided to attend.

He spied Ron and Hermione sitting at the end of one of the tables under a large canopy of trees. Hermione's hand was on top of Ron's and the two were engaged in an animated conversation that looked private. He hesitated, feeling very out of place. _I shouldn't be here_, his panicked mind screamedBut before he could turn around and leave, Hermione looked up and spotted him. A wide grin spread across her lovely face and she called out his name excitedly. For a split second he debated about what to do, but he knew he couldn't act like he had not heard her. He was caught.

Resigning himself, he weaved his way over towards his two oldest friends and plopped down on an empty chair.

Hermione and Ron both greeted him warmly but he was immediately aware of the tension in the air. When Hermione rushed away to fetch Harry a glass of Pumpkin juice he soon found out why.

"Where've you been?" Ron said crossly. "Buggar it all, Harry! I've been stuck here all evening trying to convince Hermione that we'll be all right without her for a few months. Please assure her that we can manage just fine on our own. Honestly, it'll be a relief to not have to listen to her constant badgering to clean up or do laundry at every turn. She's driving me mad with all the mollycoddling and we still have three weeks to go before she leaves. I don't know how I'm going to stand it till then!"

The three of them had been sharing a flat in Leicester near London since finishing up at Hogwarts, and Hermione was constantly on them about keeping up the housework. It was worse than her badgering all through school about homework, in their opinion, and she had ratcheted it up a notch since learning that she was to be sent away for training until the Christmas holidays.

Ron hadn't seen Hermione come back with the drink in time to catch the tail end of the conversation, but Harry did. He looked from Ron's grumpy face to Hermione's angry one and came to the instant conclusion that he'd much rather be somewhere else. He knew from experience that this was not going to be pretty. _Conversations _such as this could go on for hours, with him eventually acting as referee and go between when they refused to talk to one another. It was really very tiresome, and he usually tried to avoid it at all costs.

Tonight he decided his best strategy would be to offset Ron's comment with something of his own to try to deflect some of Hermione's anger at Ron's insensitive comments.

"We're really going to miss you Hermione," he said honestly. "I don't know how we're going to manage. But if we can survive Voldemort, then I'm sure we'll find some way to get though without you around every day to keep us in line." His voice was genuine, not condescending, and Hermione's anger melted under it.

Ron looked at her, defeated. "He's right, you know," he said dejectedly. "We _are_ going to miss you terribly."

The hard lines of Hermione's face softened at his words. As she sat back in her chair, she placed her hand on Ron's thigh. Harry saw apprehension flitting across her face. "I shouldn't go," she said, appearing to waver.

"Of course you should go," Harry said firmly. "This is your life, Hermione, your _career_. You have to go." She looked unconvinced and ready to argue, but Harry cut her off with a wave. "It's only till Christmas. Don't worry… you know I'll look out for Ron. I'll make certain he doesn't starve. Besides, our training is moving into a new phase and it's beginning to get very intense. I doubt we'll have much time at home anyway."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and shifted her free hand to Harry's. "And if you're taking care of Ron, then who's going to take care of you?" she asked affectionately.

Ron perked up indignantly. "You know I have Harry's back. The three of us are a team, remember? Even when you're in bloody France or wherever you'll be."

Hermione smiled at both of them, emotion glistening in her eyes. "All right, I'll stop _mollycoddling_ from now on and leave you to it. If you wear dingy pants it'll be your own faults."

Ron and Harry exchanged significant looks, knowing her decision was made. It was just as well. They were busy with Auror training most days anyway. Hermione's super-secret position as a liaison between the Department of Mysteries and the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Legal Affairs kept her just as busy, and they rarely even saw each other, even though they shared a flat.

Feeling a change of subject was needed, Harry commented quietly. "This is some party, isn't it? Who knew Ginny had this many friends?"

He noticed both Hermione and Ron give him a strange look but couldn't for the life of him think what it was he had done this time.

"You _are_ joking, right?" Hermione said finally.

"Er…" Harry said awkwardly. "I _know_ Ginny's always been too popular for her own good," he said defensively. "I just didn't think they'd all show up for her birthday party, is all."

"You're right," Ron said darkly as his eyes scanned the crowd. "I could really do with a few less blokes chatting my sister up."

Harry silently agreed, stealing a glance at Ginny surrounded by a group of her friends, laughing and talking animatedly. It wasn't surprising when he felt the familiar stab of pain he'd come to associate with her. But he couldn't deny that being the centre of attention suited her. She seemed to sparkle under all the attention. Among the group hanging on her every word were Colin and Dennis Creevy, Justin Finch-Fletchly, and Anthony Goldstein. They were, reportedly, the latest boys to show an interest in her.

Standing off to the side was Dean Thomas, Ginny's old flame. Hermione whispered she had heard Dean might be interested in a second chance with Ginny. Harry's stomach clenched painfully at the thought. Dean was an all right bloke, but Ginny deserved more.

Harry's eyes swept over the youngest Weasley appreciatively; she radiated confidence. He remembered when he had captivated her attention. Those had been the best weeks of his life, but that seemed like a lifetime ago now. Sometimes Harry wondered if it had all been a dream.

He jerked himself away from those thoughts quickly. He had decided long ago that she was better off without him, and he'd not back down now. He repeated it like a mantra, trying to convince himself of it, but knew deep down he'd never accept her with anyone else – not really. Still, he knew he'd have to let go of that dream sooner or later because he refused to let her ruin her life on the likes of him. He could never bring her true happiness… not in his current situation.

Bringing his thoughts back to the conversation at hand, Harry asked in a deliberately casual tone, "So who's the lucky sod this week? Is she still dating Finch-Fletchly?"

"I don't think so, but who knows?" Ron said irritably. "She never tells me anything, anymore."

"Honestly, you two," Hermione said, "Ginny hasn't dated that many boys. Most of them have just been friends. And she would tell you, Ron," she pointed out, "if you didn't threaten to hex every boy who has the audacity to show an interest in her."

"Can I help it if I want to see my sister happy?" he retorted.

"And just what constitutes happy, in your opinion?" Hermione said heatedly. "She's eighteen today. Don't you think she's capable of deciding for herself who makes her happy?"

They were still arguing when Harry slipped away quietly and headed for the food table. He was fond of his two best friends, but their constant bickering did play on his nerves; at times like these it was better that he just leave them to it. Besides, he really wasn't in the mood to hear them bicker about Ginny's happiness as it pertained to other blokes. Even though Harry knew he could never be in Ginny's life again, the thought of her finding happiness with someone else literally tore him to pieces inside.

He was in the process of examining the vast array of food laid out on a long buffet table, wondering how he was going to muster up the appetite to eat anything, when two identical blurs approached him, one on each side.

"Hello there, business partner," Fred said, clapping him on the back. "Long time no see!"

"How's Auror life treating you these days, Harry, my boy? Saved the world anymore lately?" George chimed in, throwing a brotherly arm around his shoulder. Not waiting for an answer, he ploughed on. "This brings us around to why we're here... Harry, mate, we've got something to show you." He held up a jar of what looked like ordinary green pickles in front of them.

"What's that?" Harry asked warily.

"It's our latest product. Should be a whopping big success," Fred said proudly, indicating the pickles. "We're calling them Potter's Pickles."

"Yeah," George said. "One bite and your eyes will turn the colour of fresh pickled toad."

"Two bites," Fred said, "and your hair will be as dark as a blackboard."

"Three bites and you'll have your own lightening bolt plastered on your forehead!" George chuckled.

Harry grimaced. He felt slightly nauseous at the idea that people would even want to emulate him in any way. "Sounds fun," he said dully, unsuccessfully trying to fake his approval for the product.

"We thought you'd appreciate it," Fred said, grinning. "It was all George's idea."

"Not true, my dear brother," George corrected him modestly. "Don't you remember? It was our baby sister that gave us the inspiration."

"Gave who, what inspiration?" a familiar, disapproving voice said from behind Harry. Turning around, he felt his face flush with embarrassment. Ginny was looking between him and her brothers expectantly, a frown on her face.

"I was just telling Harry how you were the inspiration for the new line of Potter's Pickles," George said confidently.

Ginny's eyes sparkled then narrowed. "Yes. About that…" The twins looked at her suspiciously.

"I have it on good authority that a certain dwarf is prepared to petition a lawsuit if you go through with this crazy new scheme. He claims that you stole his idea," she said calmly. Her eyes were deadly cold now and Harry shivered, not wanting to be the twins for even one second under that stare.

Fred and George exchanged stricken looks.

"You said you weren't going to do that," Fred said lamely.

"Did I?" Ginny said innocently, revealing a sweet but calculating smile.

But Fred smiled widely, too. "You know we need more proof than your word sister, dear," he said, wagging a finger in front of her nose. "I think you're bluffing."

Ginny smiled just as widely. "I hoped you'd say that." Pulling out her wand, she said clearly, "_Accio_ letter!" A moment later, a letter came zooming into her hand.

"You didn't really-" George said disbelievingly as Ginny handed him the letter.

"I most certainly did." She stared the twins down with a hard glare as they read the letter, their heads almost touching as they scanned it. Harry watched in fascination as their eyes darted to and fro, their faces growing more and more serious by the second. After a few moments they looked up, identical frowns plastered on their faces.

"Can we talk about this?" George asked timidly.

"Tell you what," Ginny said pleasantly. "I'm a reasonable girl. We can make a deal."

The twins started at her dubiously.

Ginny continued. "I think this product is worth saving. Why don't you drop the scar bit, make the hair and skin green, and just call them Potent Pickles? Leave Harry out of it. If you do that, I'm sure something could be… arranged. For a price, that is. Say, five percent of your total profits?" She raised an eyebrow in question, but showed no signs of backing down.

"Five percent!" George exclaimed. "Are you mental?"

Fred gave her a disgusted glare. "And you call us family," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"Fine, have it your way," she said dramatically waving the letter. "I'll just write Armando and tell him the good news." She turned to leave.

"Wait!"

Fred and George exchanged a glance. They clearly seemed to be doing some sort of silent communication.

"Is that your final offer?" George asked hopefully.

"Take it or leave it."

Harry nearly fell over in surprise when they agreed to Ginny's terms. He was further shocked when she produced another document making it official. The twins even seemed impressed in a begrudging sort of way. They went off mumbling about family honour and bloody sisters, but there was a proud gleam in their eyes.

When they had gone, Harry turned to Ginny and offered her a weak smile. "Thanks for that," he said sincerely.

Ginny smiled warmly. "No problem, Harry," she said, rubbing his arm in a friendly, comforting way.

An electric shock ran through his body. His arm tingled at the touch and he jerked away abruptly, although all he really wanted to do was keep her hand there a little longer.

Ginny backed away too, stuttering out her next words awkwardly. "Sorry… I forgot for a moment there. It won't happen again."

"It's fine... really. It's not you, it's me. Please don't apologize."

"All right, then," she said uncertainly. "I suppose I should get back to my guests."

Harry couldn't help holding her gaze for a moment, and perhaps it was his imagination but he could almost remember how it used to be before that last battle with Voldemort. Vaguely he could recall a time when he could feel something, anything, other than this pain he carried around in his heart every day.

"I'll see you around," he said quietly, even though his heart screamed at him to take her in his arms and hold her until all the hurt was washed away.

She smiled a sad, slow smile. "Sure," she said, turning her back on him and walking towards Finch-Fletchly who was motioning her over.

Harry turned away so that he didn't have to look at her anymore because every time he did his heart broke just a little more.

The encounter with Ginny left Harry feeling flushed and totally out of sorts. He needed to escape, badly. It was a terrible idea to be here – to be this close to her again. He should never have come. The party continued to rage around him as his head spun with thoughts that were straight from the past, before Voldemort had ruined everything for him.

Stumbling around, he finally found a dark corner of the garden under a tree where he could be alone and collect his jumbled thoughts. He breathed deeply as he leaned forward in the shadows, quietly collecting his composure as he observed the comings and goings of the mass of bodies that filled the Weasley garden. Everyone was laughing and joking, dancing and talking. They all looked so carefree. Why couldn't he be like that?

He knew why. Two years had passed and he still thought about it every day.

_The final fight. _

_Ron and Hermione captured, used as bait. _

He knew it was a trap - a lure to get him to come, but he went anyway. There was no way he would leave his two best friends in the hands of that monster. They'd been with him through everything. They helped him get the Philosopher's Stone and they'd been with him when he destroyed the last of Voldemort's Horcruxes. In the end, they had given him the courage and the means to face his nightmare, his enemy, and destroy him for good.

But at what price?

The final confrontation had sucked out all remnants of any happiness he had in him, infecting him with darkness. When Voldemort was finally gone he had no happiness, no hope, left. Harry found himself empty – a living shell that walked and talked and smiled, but could not feel. He had forgotten how.

The only emotions he had left were mostly angry, dark, and depressing. He could still care, still express kindness and tenderness towards others, but all the happiness and joy in his life – everything that made life worthwhile – was gone. Worse, he could remember having it once, like the feeling one gets between sleep and waking when dreams seem real but just out of reach. Happiness had been real once, he was certain, but not anymore. Not for him.

At first, everyone assumed his depression was the result of post-traumatic stress and the after-effects of the war. Most everyone said they were feeling that way as they looked around and the impact of what they had lost sunk in. But gradually Harry noticed others moving on, past the pain while he never improved. It was like being stuck in a nightmare, dreaming of the past nightly and reliving the feelings during the day.

When he became aware that he wasn't going to get better he pushed everyone away. Unsurprisingly, his two best friends had steadfastly refused to let him be. After awhile, he had grown tired of the effort and stopped trying to make them go away, but he knew there was something missing in their friendship… there was a distance or void that had never been there before that last confrontation with Voldemort. It was a chasm so wide and so large it was impossible for him to cross; it separated him from the rest of the world, leaving him isolated and alone.

Ginny had gotten the worst of it. She had tried her best to reach him in those early days but he had said and done things to hurt her, to make her go away forever. Every time she came near him it was like a knife cutting into his heart; her very touch was painful. The Fates were cruel in their case. They were drawn to each other like moths to a flame, but when they collided it only burned. He remembered how he'd shouted at her, degraded her, told her how stupid she was for holding out hope that they'd ever be together again. He'd been pissed off his arse at the time and the alcohol had made him say and do things he never would have done sober.

'_Do you love me, Harry?'_ _Her eyes bore into his, trying to penetrate the layers of darkness surrounding his heart and see the truth._

'_No,' he lied, his face a cold mask. _

_Tears rolled down her face, but her jaw was set – hard and angry. 'You're lying. I know you're lying. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?'_

_His temper flared. 'Why can't you just accept the fact that I don't have feelings for you Ginny!' _

_He'd thrown his mostly empty bottle of Firewhisky against the wall with a satisfying crash, causing her to jump in surprise. A frightened squeak involuntarily escaped her lips. _

_His face twisted in a sneer. 'You're pathetic', he said, his voice cold as ice. 'I'm never going to be the same boy you used to moon over when you were ten. That person is dead, and all you're left with is me! This is it, Ginny… this is the real me. Is this what you really want?' _

_Her eyes were wide and uncertain, but she answered bravely. 'Y-yes.'_

'_Now who's lying?' he'd scoffed, taking a liberal drink from his full glass. 'Get over it, Ginny… get over me. I can't give you what you need, so just go.'_

She'd slapped him and told him he was a piss-poor drunk, but after that she had kept her distance. She was through being his fool, apparently, and he was secretly proud of her for not taking it from him. He was poison. They both knew it, they both accepted it.

'_Do you love me, Harry?'_

Those words would haunt him to his dying day.

It sickened him to see what he had become. Only the most abhorrent potions a wizard could purchase on the black market came close to making him feel the way a normal wizard should, but they were temporary fixes – mere band-aids on a bigger problem.

He cursed Voldemort as he stood in the shadows now, half-hidden by the tree, watching them.

Ron and Hermione swayed softly in the moonlight, caught up in a long, slow dance. Last spring a relative of Hermione's married and she had asked Ron to accompany her to the wedding. Dancing was required she had said, so she broke out the albums and taught Ron the moves. Harry had walked in on the lesson by accident and she'd grabbed him up, trying her best to get him to sway with the beat of the music he couldn't feel. In frustration he had lashed out at her for putting him in that awkward situation, and he and Ron had almost come to blows. In the end Harry had backed down and stormed out, but had apologized later for his behaviour after he'd calmed down. He knew he had been out of line, and luckily they had accepted his apology. He wasn't certain what he would have done if they hadn't.

His eyes moved on, and he saw Fred and George attempting to dump a bucket of ice on Angelina Johnson's and Alicia Spinnet's heads. They had been caught in the act, but the girls were being good sports about it. The group, including Katie Bell and Lee Jordan, was laughing uproariously and trying to shove ice down each other's shirts, gaining the attention of the entire party. Soon Dean and Seamus had gotten into the act. Harry's stomach clinched as Dean tried to trick Ginny and slip one down her shirt, but she side-stepped him neatly and conjured a bucket of cold water, drenching him thoroughly. The impressive bit of magic had earned her laughter and a round of applause from the twins. The dark feelings of self-loathing and raw jealousy intensified watching them. Unlike Dean, he hadn't laughed once in over a year.

His gaze leapt from person to person and his heart grew heavier with each passing glance. They'd all be better off without him bringing down the mood of the party. No matter how much they didn't want to admit it, he was broken. Unfixable. His acting ability only went so far; whenever he was around he knew his presence was not much better than a Dementor. That was why he stayed away now, out of sight. He didn't want to ruin everyone else's fun with his sour mood.

He turned away abruptly, looking out towards the field where they had spent so many enjoyable hours playing pick-up games of Quidditch. Even that was not pleasurable anymore and he rarely played. He just couldn't bring himself to get on a broom when he was so empty inside. He didn't even like flying anymore. He made stupid errors and flew worse than a first year. It was embarrassing.

"Are you watching the Hugglebees?" a dreamy voice said from beside him, startling him. "They are quite lovely this time of year, don't you think?"

Harry turned to look at Luna Lovegood. He had not noticed her approach.

_Some Auror I'll make_, he thought to himself glumly. _No wonder I'm near the bottom of my class._

Her eyes were slightly glazed and unfocused, staring off into the fields at something only she could see. Her dirty blond hair was just as straight and stringy as it had been the first time he had seen her on the Hogwarts Express.

"Umm, no," he said uncertainly. He wasn't quite sure what a Hugglebee was – probably just another one of Luna's crazy imaginary creatures. "I was just remembering all the good times I've had here," he said miserably.

Her soulful eyes seemed to see right to through the façade – the mask he had created – and into the depths of his true self.

"You know, Harry," she said, seriously looking at him sideways, "things _are_ going to improve soon. I've consulted my spirit guide about your problem and she agrees it's only a matter of time," Luna said with authority. "You still have something left inside your heart. It's just buried so deep inside you that you're having trouble finding it. It's not your fault you know, it's the curse. Voldemort's curse."

Harry blinked in surprise. How could she know? Once again Luna had hit the nail on the head with her knack for voicing uncomfortable truths.

"Er… right," he fumbled. "I know." He wasn't sure what else to say to that. Luna's crazy observations rarely made sense, but this time she'd gotten too close.

She stared at him unblinkingly for a good long while, making him even more uncomfortable. Then suddenly she said in that same irritatingly serious voice as she turned her eyes back to the field twinkling with fireflies and fairies, "The Hugglebees really are beautiful… and there are so many! Did you know that they're attracted to areas where there is a concentration of empathic energy?" She looked over her shoulder at the ruckus still going on inside the Weasley garden. "Of course, they're also attracted to the smell of birthday cake."

"Uh… no, I didn't know that," he said resisting the urge to roll his eyes, thankful Hermione wasn't around to dispute the existence of Luna's latest fantasy.

Out of his peripheral vision he was relieved to see Ginny approaching, even though he felt his face heat again and that familiar urge to run away. Luna's knowing smile unnerved him. He wondered if his aura was doing funny things again; she had accused him of that before.

"There you two are," Ginny said cheerfully. "Mum wants to bring out the cake, but I told her I wouldn't blow out the candles until I dragged you both into the party."

"I think I'll go ask Neville if he has seen the Hugglebees yet," Luna said quietly. "Excuse me."

"No problem," Ginny said with a grin. "Last time I saw him he was running away from Seamus who was chasing him with a handful of ice."

"Okay."

Harry and Ginny watched curiously as she drifted off, dreamily humming an odd little tune.

"What was _that_ all about?" Ginny asked, amusement flickering in her eyes.

Harry shrugged helplessly. "Something about Hugglebees. Ever heard of them?"

"No," she giggled. "Can't say that I have." She looked at him curiously. "What were you doing out here all alone?"

"I wasn't alone. Luna was here."

Ginny shook her head. "I mean before that. I saw you sulking all alone by the tree."

"I wasn't sulking, just thinking…" His voice trailed off and he didn't turn, hoping fervently she'd drop it.

"Oh…." she said with a knowing look. "I _see_."

"What?" He couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"You do an awful lot of _thinking_ these day, don't you Harry?" she said almost cruelly.

"I have a lot on my mind," he retorted, vexed that she would choose to pick a fight with him tonight with a garden full of guest only meters away.

But Ginny didn't seem to care about guests. She whirled on him, her face alight with anger. "Isn't it time you stop dwelling on the past and start enjoying life, Harry? Everyone else has moved on, why can't you?"

He turned away, his temper simmering. "You don't understand," he said through clenched teeth.

Her quietness told him that she had calmed her temper, just as she had many times in the past. "Harry," she said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He bristled at the touch and turned his head to the side, but couldn't bring himself to walk away.

"I do care about you, you know," she said, her voice sounding choked. "I-I wouldn't say it, if I didn't care."

"I know," he admitted reluctantly. He didn't turn – couldn't bear for her to see him with empty eyes. "I'm trying Ginny," he said truthfully, though it was hard to talk around the lump that had formed in his throat. "But it's hard."

"Life is hard, Harry," she said quietly, touching his cheek and forcing him to look at her. "But you're stronger than this. You can beat this."

He couldn't help himself. He turned and looked at her with dull green eyes. "I'm spent, Ginny," he said truthfully. "I have nothing left in me to give. Every day is torture, and I don't know how to move on. I've tried everything, but he took it all, Gin. He took it all, and now it's gone."

"I don't believe you," she said forcefully, fixing him with a penetrating stare. "The Harry Potter I know _never_ gives up."

He stared back at her helplessly, willing her to see that he was telling the truth.

Understanding dawned crystal clear in her eyes. He saw it seconds before she struck like a predatory cat, bringing her mouth to his so violently he was thrown backward into the tree.

He felt himself tense up at first and try to get away, the pain in his heart practically bursting. He needed to escape before she realised what he was, what Voldemort had made him, but she held him fast and refused to let him run away. He was utterly helpless, paralyzed… torn between wanting to stay and needing to go. When he tried to pull back she stopped him, drawing him closer and closer, digging down into the layers of darkness and pain, opening his heart to feelings he'd long thought gone. Slowly, impossibly, he felt himself respond as she made contact with his weakened soul. Like a tourniquet, she wrapped her own soul tightly around his, touching him in a way he hadn't been touched before. It was raw emotion, intense passion, and pure need.

And then he remembered.

It was like breathing again after holding his breath for far too long. He filled his lungs with air as he leaned into her slightly, feeling a desperate drive to deepen the kiss. She continued to hold on to him, letting him know it was all right. Tentatively, he opened his mouth to hers when she pressed for entrance. It was like coming home – even better than he remembered. Without meaning to, he sagged against the tree tiredly and allowed her to kiss the pain away, tonic to his starving soul. Without hesitation he opened himself up to it fully.

Suddenly he needed more. Like something had taken over inside him, he grabbed her by the waist roughly and pulled her closer. Tongues danced and played, eliciting moans from both parties. Harry wove his hand in her silky hair, grabbing her by the neck and trying to draw her closer still, trying to melt his body into hers. He gasped as one of her hands trailed up and under his baggy shirt, stroking the bare skin of his back. His skin was on fire where she was touching him.

He turned her unexpectedly and became the aggressor, surprising her as he gently threw her against the tree and pinned her body next to his. Raising her up without losing contact with her mouth, she willingly wrapped her legs around him, letting the tree support the bulk of her weight and his hips support the rest. He kissed her neck roughly, applying pressure to the pulse point just below her chin. She threw her head back to allow him better access, her fingers driving him mad as they twisted in his hair. It was pure bliss, yet at the same time horrible torture.

He was just beginning to dip lower, seeking out the soft skin of her shoulder hidden under her shirt, when they heard their names being called. He broke off his exploration, panting hard and wild-eyed with unrequited fulfilment.

They leaned their foreheads against each other in an unspoken understanding, but he did not put her down. He couldn't bear to let her go yet. At the same time the feelings of despair he had been pushing away came crashing down on him like a tidal wave. He sighed heavily as the veil dropped and pulled away even further, earning him a curious, worried look that suddenly made things very awkward between them. He could tell she wanted to ease the tension but didn't know how.

Mrs. Weasley was shouting out her name. They were looking for her, wanting her to come blow out the candles on her birthday cake. He put her down reluctantly and backed away, his breathing ragged, staring at her in wild-eyed shock. Neither spoke, choosing instead to communicate with their eyes everything that no words could possibly express.

She started to say something but he backed away, stumbling slightly in his haste to escape. Turning, he fled, skirting around the garden to the safety of the other side of the house where he would be out of sight, hearing her call after him in confusion. He just couldn't face anyone right now, least of all her.

Leaning against the house, he tried to regain his composure. His self-control was totally shattered and he was thoroughly embarrassed that he had acted so thoughtlessly. What must she think of him now? He had sworn to Ron he would always take care of her and that's what he had been doing by staying away. In his mind, it was her only chance for happiness. She'd be better off with Dean Thomas than him. Anyone would be better than him.

He swore violently and kicked the house in frustration, momentarily fearing that the whole place might come tumbling down. What was he going to do now? For the first time in over two years, he had felt something. Something wonderful, incredible… amazing! But he didn't know if he was prepared for what that meant, and he certainly wasn't prepared for the pain that was now flooding his heart.

Time passed as his body that had betrayed him so badly finally came back under his control. Thankfully no one had come to seek him out – no Weasley male had come to thrash him for defiling their sister in such a brutish way. In the distance he heard the sounds of Ginny's friends and family serenading her. He longed to go back, but knew it was wrong. Ginny deserved more than he could give. He cared about her too much to let her get mixed up with the likes of him.

The laughter and clapping drifted through the late summer air, and he imagined Ginny in the middle of it all, blushing and smiling, blowing out the candles on her cake. Perfect. The epitome of life. Everything he wanted but couldn't have.

_She's better off without me. I can't do this to her._

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the tiny pouch that contained Ginny's birthday present. He hadn't had time to give to her. Taking out his wand he vanished it, feeling sick, nauseous with pain… the worst despair he'd felt yet.

Clutching his stomach, he knew what he had to do now… where he had to go to make the pain that was threatening to overtake him more bearable. He'd promised Ron and Hermione he wouldn't do it anymore, but tonight had changed all that. He was teetering on the edge and, if he didn't find some relief soon, he'd plunge over the cliff. One more trip to the apothecary on Knockturn Alley would solve that. Although his conscious told him it was wrong and that he'd get kicked out of the training program if the Aurors ever found out he was using an illegal potion, he knew that for a little while he could find peace – even if it was a fleeting, synthetic peace. Then he'd go back to pretending for as long as he could.

What kind of man did that make him? He loathed his weakness and hated himself all the more. Dumbledore, Sirius, his parents… they would all be ashamed of him.

He closed his eyes and willed himself once again to forget, even though he knew it was impossible. Then he disappeared silently into the night.

A/N: Next chapter will be posted in one week. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	2. Going Under

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning: **This story contains sexual content and implied drug use. If that bothers you or you are under age, please do not read.

**Going Under**

Ginny stood by the tree for a full two minutes trying to gain control of her beating heart. She had just shared the best kiss of her life with the boy she had loved for as long as she could remember and he had rushed away as if she repulsed him. It just wasn't fair.

She could kick herself for her audacity. What had she been thinking? Harry didn't want her. He hadn't shown any sort of romantic feeling towards her for several years now and she had forced herself on him like a desperate, wild dog. She should be ashamed of herself.

The problem was, she wasn't ashamed – she'd do it again in a heartbeat. And again, and again, and again. The feeling of his lips on hers, his mouth open and willing, his hands in her hair – it was better than she remembered. If anything, his technique had improved since their relationship had ended abruptly at Dumbledore's funeral.

Harry's condition since that final battle with Voldemort had weighed heavily on everyone's minds, but especially on hers. She remembered visiting him in hospital hours after he had been brought in. The look in his eyes had been frightening. There was no sparkle there, no twinkle. His green orbs were deadened and empty, and not much had changed in the year since. Whenever she tried to touch him he recoiled and it hurt her so much that she had stopped trying to reach him, especially after the cruel things he had said to her. But tonight she had not thought of that. He was in pain and she had responded without thought. And he had responded to _her_, she was sure of it. Could it be possible that deep down he still harboured feelings for her? If so, then why had he run away?

The answer was simple really. He was Harry.

Collecting herself, she took out her wand and Apparated directly to her room. Quickly brushing her mussed hair and reapplying some lip gloss, she straightened her clothes and then popped back downstairs, almost running into her mum who was still looking for her.

"There you are, Ginny, dear," she said somewhat crossly. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Where have you been?"

"I had to use the loo," she lied.

Molly Weasley paused and Ginny thought she'd been caught out. Instead of pursuing it any further, however, her mother sighed and held her at arms length. "You look lovely tonight, Ginny darling. Did I tell you?"

Ginny shook her head and smiled back at her mum, feeling so lucky to have her.

"So grown up," she said, sounding choked. She sniffed. "I can't believe my baby's eighteen today. Soon you'll be married and have a family of your own."

"_Mum_," Ginny said, exasperated. "I'm not even dating anyone right now." She started to move off but her mother caught hold of her hand.

"You may be able to fool others, but you can't fool your mother, dear. I know that you too well." She gave her daughter a significant look.

Ginny knew she could lie but it was pointless because her mum always had an uncanny knack for seeing through her, especially on this subject.

"Maybe I do," she admitted reluctantly, "but so what? It won't change anything."

Molly's expression softened and she reached up to smooth a tendril of hair on her daughter's head. The simple act strangely comforted her like nothing else could.

"Don't give up on him yet, darling. Keep trying. You may be the only one who can reach him now."

She looked at her mother intently, trying to read her thoughts. Did her mum know about the interlude with Harry behind the tree?

Molly smiled warmly, putting Ginny mind at ease. She gave her daughter's arm an affectionate pat and pulled her in for a hug. "Now let's go make your birthday wish and blow out those candles. A good birthday wish may be just what's called for in this case."

Ginny nodded her head mutely. She had the perfect wish in mind.

(break)

Hours later when Harry did not return to the party Ginny began to get worried. Most everyone had left but Ron and Hermione remained to help clean up the mess, and still he did not come back. Hermione was trying her best to engage Ginny in conversation as they cleaned the dishes, but Ginny found it difficult to concentrate.

"… so Ron and I were wondering if there's anything you'd like to tell us."

Ginny snapped out of her thoughts of Harry and his current whereabouts to attend to the conversation taking place at her side, her stomach doing a nasty lurch. Hermione paused and looked at her expectantly.

"Are you and Dean back together?"

Ginny sighed silently in relief, her heart returning back to it's normal rhythm.

"Not bloody likely," she said irritably, drying a dish and placing it back in the cupboard. "Dean and I are friends, Hermione. That ship sailed a long time ago." She flicked her wand and sloshed water violently as an image of Harry came into her mind. Until two hours ago she might have said the same of him, but now everything had changed.

"Is anything else bothering you, then?" Hermione asked tentatively. Her shrewd brown eyes held Ginny's, searching for an explanation.

"Now that you mention it, yes, there is something that has me distracted," Ginny said, turning towards her friend and stopping her work on the dishes. "Is everything all right with Harry?"

Hermione looked sad for a moment, clearly troubled. "As well as ever, Ginny," she answered slowly. "...You know how it is."

Yes, she certainly did. "How is he getting on in training?" she asked conversationally, hoping to glean some information.

The older girl sighed, picking up a dish. "Not well, I'm afraid. At Hogwarts Harry was always the top of the class in Defence Against the Dark Arts. The year we went looking for the Horcruxes... well, I've never seen him in such top form. Now he struggles with even the most basic spells. If it weren't for his name and reputation, I think he'd have been dismissed from Auror school by now. Ron is doing loads better and, if you ask me, it's really bothering Harry."

"Hermione," Ginny said, looking at her future sister-in-law seriously. "You're the smartest witch I know. What do _you_ think is wrong with him?"

Hermione bit her bottom lip nervously. "I can't say for certain..."

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "But you _do_ know something, don't you?"

Hermione shook her head yes and her eyes watered. "I blame myself, really. If only I hadn't found that spell…" A tear slipped down her face and she sniffled, clearly distraught. "There had to be another way."

"What spell? What are you talking about?"

Ginny was confused but she felt hope stir in her heart. Could there really be more to Harry's odd behaviour than she had thought? Perhaps a botched spell that could be reversed...

"When we left after our sixth year – after Dumbledore died – we were in the thick of the war," Hermione explained. "Harry already knew that he was destined to be the one to vanquish Voldemort. The problem was he had a plan but no idea how he was going to accomplish it. He wanted to go alone but Ron and I swore we'd stay with him. We knew we had to destroy the Horcruxes in order to make Voldemort mortal, but that still left Voldemort himself. It would take something extraordinary to defeat him. So in my spare time, I searched until I finally ran across something I thought might work." She bit her lip nervously.

"Like a spell?" Ginny prompted, hardly daring to believe that Hermione was giving her this information so freely. The three of them had been strangely tight-lipped about the details up till now.

"Yes," Hermione said gravely. "A very Dark spell. I warned Harry that the Dark Arts were not to be trifled with, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't seem to care. All he cared about was finding a way to get rid of him for good before the people he loved were hurt or worse, killed."

Hermione paused to take a breath. "The spell wasn't perfect, but it was a place to start. It involved killing a sworn enemy with all sorts of negative thoughts, making them suffer until they finally died from despair."

Ginny sucked in her breath. "Harry did that to Voldemort?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, he didn't. It's more complicated than that. We knew that he thrived on darkness but hated anything related to the Light, so we adapted the spell to work in reverse. I reworked it so that Harry could focus all his positive thoughts and feelings into the spell, essentially incapacitating him with everything that he hates – love, happiness, joy, exhilaration… all the emotions that make life worth living."

"And obviously it worked," Ginny whispered. "That _is_ what finished him, I'm assuming?"

"Well, then Fawkes showed up with Gryffindor's sword. Harry somehow found the strength to finish him by driving it through his heart," Hermione said. "But after that… well, Harry's never been the same, has he?"

Something finally made sense. "So that's what he meant," she whispered, horrified.

"What?" Hermione asked, confused.

"Harry," Ginny said. "He said tonight that he was spent. To quote him, he said, 'He took it all and now it's gone.' At the time I didn't know what he meant. Now I think he meant Voldemort stole his ability to feel those things."

Hermione looked at her friend wide-eyed. "He really told you that tonight? When?"

Ginny blushed just thinking about the kiss behind the tree, and immediately knew she could tell Hermione anything but _that_.

"Before he left I rescued him from Luna. For a moment, everything seemed normal. Then I made a thoughtless comment and he got angry. Well... more hurt than angry. And he looked at me so lost, Hermione, it broke my heart. He left soon after that. He's really in pain, Hermione." She shook her head sadly. "There must be something we can do to help. Maybe a counter-spell?"

Hermione sighed. "I've researched it as completely as I possibly can. The problem is, there are no documented cases of anything like this. Up until we developed it, the spell did not exist, and there's never been a documented case of this happening with the original spell. I don't know what went wrong, and he refused to tell anyone who might be able to help because I could get in a lot of trouble for developing a new spell and using it without going through the proper channels. There's a lot of paperwork and bureaucracy involved in new spell development, as I'm finding out in my job at the Ministry. Harry's case is so unique, there isn't anything we _can_ do but hope he finds a way through this or pray we stumble upon something that helps. Ron and I are doing what we can for him. For awhile, I thought it was getting better, but now…"

"Do you think he'll ever recover?" she asked, her breath catching in fear. "Is it possible this is permanent?"

She squeezed Ginny's hand, her expression earnest. "We haven't given up yet, and deep down I don't think Harry has either. Neither should you."

Ginny hoped with every fibre of her being that whatever hold this spell had on Harry was resolved soon. If not, she was afraid it might do what Voldemort couldn't – destroy the man she still loved with all her heart.

(break)

After wishing her mum and dad goodnight and thanking them for the party, she trudged tiredly up the stairs to her room, still haunted by Harry's sad eyes as they had looked earlier. What was she to do with herself? It had taken her almost three years to get over her infatuation with him. When she finally had a chance at a relationship with him, he broke it off to go after Voldemort. She had understood at the time, but when he didn't come back to her when it was over she thought her chance was gone forever. After a time, she had tried to move on with other boys, but no one compared to Harry. No one ever did and no one ever would. She thought she had accepted it, but now here she was falling for him all over again. It seemed her life was destined to revolve around Harry's.

The memory of their interlude burned in her imagination. She remembered him as a brilliant kisser, but this kiss had surpassed anything they'd ever shared. She'd dreamed of how lovely it would be to kiss him again, but she never imagined it to be so full of raw passion and unbridled need. Of course, it had always been good between them, but this… this was different somehow.

Ginny sighed as she threw herself on the bed in frustration. What _did _she feel for Harry?She struggled to make sense of her feelings. What was it about tonight that had her so barmy that she could think of nothing else? Closing her eyes she recalled every intimate detail from the first contact to the minute he pushed her away.

Harry kissed her like he was holding on for dear life. He kissed like he lived, desperate and passionate yet tender and sweet, and that was bloody sexy. Tonight Harry's kisses were bold. He ignited the fire in her soul, the woman underneath the little girl screaming to be set free. That was it. He kissed her as a woman, not as a girl. Nobody had ever kissed her like that before. She blushed as she remembered how she had responded to him. What must he think of _her _boldness? She had kissed him first after all.

She needed to see him, to show him what he had done to her, but she had no idea where he might have gone. Ginny held her pillow to her mouth and screamed into it. How had she allowed him to have this kind of a hold over her? As she flung the pillow back into place, her hand brushed up against something she knew had not been there before. She pulled back and fumbled around until she found it – a small black pouch from Bluefield & Baker's Fine Gifts and Jewellery Shoppe in Diagon Alley, an upscale store full of things her family couldn't afford. The only time she had been in there was with Harry the last summer he had stayed at the Burrow to pick out a wedding gift for Bill and Fleur.

Who would give her something from there? And why was it up here, under her pillow?

Maybe her mum and dad, or someone else in her family? Ginny wrinkled her nose. No, not likely.

Hoping the present itself would hold some clues as to the identity of the benefactor, Ginny carefully opened the pouch and slid out the contents. It was a delicate silver charm bracelet with links to hold charms. One had already been added to it – a golden snitch.

Harry.

She looked at it in wonder. He had remembered.

_The sky was pouring buckets of summer rain, making it difficult to get from shop to shop quickly. Only one more place to go, and then they could head on over to the Leaky Cauldron and meet Ron and Hermione for a nice refreshing butterbeer._

_Harry and Ginny gratefully pushed their way into the gift shoppe and removed their soaked cloaks, Remus and Tonks not far behind. The older couple wandered off immediately on their own, probably to give them some privacy. Despite the chill in the air and the rain they had been having a wonderful time. It was nice to see Harry so happy and carefree for a change._

_Harry had been determined to get Bill and Fleur and nice gift for their wedding, so they had browsed the gift section for a bit until the jewellery caught his eye._

"_Ginny," he said carefully, "I've been thinking about getting something nice for your Mum this year for Christmas. Do you have any ideas?" He walked over to the case and peeked inside intently._

"_I don't know, Harry," she said doubtfully, walking over to join him. "She's never owned much jewellery except her wedding rings and a few heirloom pieces from the Prewett side of the family."_

"_All the more reason to get her something nice," Harry insisted. "Excuse me," he said loudly, motioning to the small man behind the counter. "Could you help us here?"_

_The funny clerk had wrongly made the assumption that they were a couple and began to try to sell them everything geared towards young couples in love including engagement rings. The attention grew worse when the man recognized Harry. He wouldn't seem to believe that he wanted to buy a gift for his best friend's mother. _

_Finally the two wandered off on their own when another, more prominent customer made a timely appearance. They freely browsed the cases, looking at all the extravagant jewellery… diamonds, pearls, sapphires, dragon tears, and pixie dust in small glass capsules. They perused the choices until they came to the charms._

"_These are lovely, Harry!" Ginny said excitedly. "Mum would love something like this."_

_He looked at it critically, clearly not sure. "You think so?" he asked doubtfully. _

"_I'm_ _sure of it," she said confidently. "You could start a tradition."_

_Intrigued, he asked curiously, "What kind of tradition?"_

"_Well," she said patiently, as if explaining it to a clueless three year old, "there are all sorts of charms for all sorts of occasions. You see here?" she said, pointing to the case laden with charms of every kind imaginable. "These charms represent interests like stargazing, runes, knitting – all kinds of things. These are birthstones and zodiac signs, and those over there can be charmed to say whatever you want. They represent important things or events in your life, and a full bracelet or necklace can tell a story all on its own. It's like a reminder of what's special about that person. Giving Mum something like this is very personal, and women like it when a gift is thoughtful. You could add one charm every year. She'll love it because you put a great deal of thought into the gift – it could turn into a tradition."_

"_There are so many," he complained, frowning. "How am I supposed to choose?"_

"_I can't decide for you, Harry. Then it would be my gift, not yours."_

"_But…," he said, hesitating. Then a slow smile spread on his boyishly handsome face. "If you were going to choose one for yourself, which one would you choose, then?"_

"_Clever Harry," she said, smirking. "I see where this is going."_

"_Come on Ginny," he whined. "Help a bloke out. I'm not asking what your mum would like, only what you would choose. It might give me a clue."_

"_All right," she said, exasperated. "Fine!" She hated giving in so easy, but she never could resist him. _

_Then a brilliant idea struck. "How about this…" she said coyly. "Which one do you think I'd like?" It seemed like an intimate question, for some reason, and she immediately wished she hadn't asked it. She had promised herself that she would give him the space he had asked for, after all. _

_His eyes seemed to bore right through her, however, as he studied her seriously. "I'd know if you'd tell me," he said slyly. _

_She shook her head. "No, sorry... you have to guess."_

"_Is this a test?" he asked, frowning._

_Ginny laughed, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. "How well do you know Ginny Weasley? Not hardly! Don't worry, Harry..." she assured him, "I'll only Bat-Bogey you a little if you guess wrong."_

"_Right then, no pressure." He looked down at the display carefully. "Well… you're a good student, so maybe a book?"_

_Ginny wrinkled her nose. "Hermione would like a book, but me? Try again."_

"_Hmmm… You're good at Quidditch. What kind of Quidditch charms do they have?"_

"_Loads," Ginny said, smiling. "And you're getting closer." _

_Harry blushed. "Good to know," he muttered. He surveyed his choices, separating a broom, a Quaffle, and a Golden Snitch._

"_Why those?" Ginny asked, dying to know._

"_I just liked them," he said. "And they reminded me of you."_

_It was Ginny's turn to blush. Suddenly the air between them seemed charged. More serious than silly._

"_You're doing well, Harry," she said quietly, hoping the man at the counter wouldn't interrupt them. "I'm impressed. Now for the final test. Of those three, which one would I choose?" she asked. She raised her eyebrow, daring him to guess wrong._

_He studied the three charms for a moment, and started to reach for the Quaffle, but hesitated and chose the Snitch instead. "I'd pick this one for you," he said shyly._

_She tried to hide her surprise. It was the very one she would have picked. The Golden Snitch. "Why that one and not the Quaffle?" she asked._

"_Did I guess wrong?" he said, clearly disappointed. "Should I have picked the Quaffle?"_

"_I didn't say that," she said patiently. "I'm just curious. What made you choose that one?"_

_Harry shrugged. "The Quaffle seems like something you would buy yourself. I just remember what a great job you did when you replaced me after Umbridge kicked me off the team. You saved the cup that year."_

"_But Ron-" she started to protest, but he cut her off._

"_Ron helped, but without your catches it couldn't have happened. I never told you then how much I admired you for that, did I?" He seemed very nervous, but charmingly so._

"_No, I guess not," she said._

"_Just for the record," he asked. "Which one would you have chosen?" _

_Ginny didn't hesitate. "The Golden Snitch," she said confidently._

"_Really?" he asked, surprised. "Why?"_

_She smiled. "Because it reminds me of you." _

_Instead of smiling like she hoped he would, he had frowned. They left the jewellery shop soon after without buying a gift, and he ended up giving her Mum a nice scarf instead of a charm. Her Mum had been happy enough with the gift, but in all honesty she could have easily knit one herself. It didn't make a bit of sense to Ginny why Harry hadn't gotten her mum a charm after all that. Silently they trudged to the Leaky Cauldron where they had met Ron and Hermione. For the rest of the day Harry had remained distant and in a bad temper, although for the life of her she couldn't understand what she had done to upset him. _

Ginny didn't see Harry again for two days after her birthday party. She knew he was fine, though, because she had owled Hermione and her friend had informed her Harry was home when they had returned the night of the party, although he had retired early. He seemed like his old self for a change, she wrote – laughing and joking – so whatever Ginny had said to him must have helped.

The letter gave her hope that maybe she had gotten through to him. She was sure he would come by and see her soon, but after two days she began to grow frustrated and decided to take matters into her own hands. Nervously, she Flooed to their apartment taking care to wear the bracelet with the golden snitch prominently on her bare arm.

But, to her great disappointment, Ron and Harry were in night training – neither was home.

Hermione was ecstatic to see her, though. They made small talk, discussed books and Hermione's upcoming trip until Ginny grew restless. Without even realising she was doing it she began to pace, looking towards the fireplace and the door as if expecting someone to come through them any minute.

After awhile Hermione seemed to grow tired of watching her. "They're not due back for another hour you know. You'll wear yourself out long before then if you don't relax," she said.

Ginny looked startled. Had she been that transparent?

"I just need to see for myself that he's alright," she sighed.

Her friend clearly knew better. "Is that the only reason?" she asked.

"Well… no," Ginny admitted reluctantly. She showed Hermione her bracelet. "I think it's from Harry," she explained. "It was under my pillow the night of the party, but there was no note."

"What makes you think it's from Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Just a feeling," she said. She really didn't feel like recounting their trip to the jewellery store. It seemed too personal, and she somehow felt that if she said it out loud, some of the magic surrounding that moment might disappear. "I just know in my heart that it is. Does that sound stupid?"

Hermione shook her head. "I've learned a thing or two from Ron and Harry about gut instincts. I don't think the heart ever leads you wrong."

Ginny nodded seriously. "Do you think I should say something?"

Hermione seemed to ponder the question, and then shook her head. "I think the fact you're wearing it is enough. If he doesn't mention it, I wouldn't either. His face is like an open book, Ginny. If he did send it, you'll know."

"Maybe your right," Ginny said uncertainly. "But he's gotten much better at hiding things recently."

"Who's hiding things?" Ron's booming voice said, startling them. They had been so involved in their conversation they hadn't even heard the boys come through the fireplace. Ginny looked up just in time to see Harry appear and her stomach did a flip.

"Dad," Ginny said, lying smoothly. "He's hiding all his Muggle things around the house again and mum is having a fit. I had to get out of there for awhile. The tension is driving me mad! I hope you don't mind?" she said, looking the two of them over innocently. Hermione looked amused, impressed, and disapproving all at the same time but Ginny was too focused on Harry to care. She avoided looking at him directly, although she was very careful not to act as if she were doing it on purpose.

They looked sweaty and dirty. Ron seemed to be in a really good mood, Harry less so. Both looked tired, as if they had just gone through a very gruelling phase of training.

"What else is new?" Ron said, accepting her lie at face value. "You're always welcome here, you know that, Ginny." He grinned widely. "Good of you for showing up. I'm in the mood to celebrate, anyway."

"What are you so cheerful about, then?" Hermione asked suspiciously. "Did something happen at training?"

Mockingly, Ron put his hand over his heart and looked hurt, but it was obvious he was playing. He addressed Hermione happily. "Did something _happen_?" he repeated, almost giddily. "Did something happen, Harry?"

Harry looked exasperated but willingly played along. For some reason Ginny thought he looked angry, but was trying to put a good face on it for Ron's sake. "Yes, Ron," he said wearily. "I'd say something _did_ happen." He sounded disgruntled, but refused to elaborate. He busied himself with his gear and did not look up. Ron didn't seem to notice.

Hermione appeared ready to strangle them both. "One of you needs to start talking _now_, or I'll start throwing hexes," she warned. She reached for her wand, just for good measure.

Both Harry and Ron seemed to straighten up a bit and exchanged wary glances; Hermione knew some wicked hexes and Ginny assumed neither wanted to test her patience.

Ron looked at Harry. "You tell her."

"Ron," Harry said, a hint of a warning in his tone. "This is your news. You should tell her."

"But I want to see her face when you tell her," Ron pleaded. Harry looked ready to argue when Hermione interrupted.

"_Someone_ had better tell me _very_ soon," she advised, "or I won't be responsible for my actions."

Harry sighed. "All right, you win. I'll tell her. Tonight we had a training mission," he began.

"Yes, yes," Hermione said impatiently. "I know _that_."

He shot her an annoyed glance, but continued. "It was a test. You know… to wrap up our sections on strategic planning and hostage negotiations. Anyway," he said irritably, "Ron's plan... it worked. Our team won. We rescued all the hostages first with only," he grimaced, "_minimal_ causalities." He turned back to his gear and made himself busy again while Ginny and Hermione congratulated Ron.

"Ron! That's wonderful!" Hermione said, giving him a big hug. "I'm sure you really impressed your instructors."

Ron blushed. "Yeah, I did. Captain Greenhorn even said he'd consider me for his next advanced class."

Ginny looked at Harry, who was not joining in the celebration. "And what about you, Harry? How did you do?" she asked kindly.

The question seemed to make him angry. He did not look up but became slightly rougher with his belongings, stuffing them a little too hard into his rucksack. "Dismally," he said tightly.

"I'm sure-" Ginny said, beginning to reassure him.

His simmering temper finally had an outlet; he cut her off by jumping up suddenly and throwing his gear across the room.

"I failed, all right, Ginny! Is that what you wanted to know?" His voice changed abruptly from rage to tightly controlled, cold steel.

"I failed."

His face spoke volumes – a mixture of pain and intense self-loathing – as he turned and fled the room angrily, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

Ginny and Hermione stared at Ron, who avoided their eyes guiltily.

"What happened?" Hermione asked wearily, voicing Ginny's question.

Ron's eyes finally met theirs and Ginny saw deep regret etched there. "Remember the minimal casualties we mentioned earlier…?"

Hermione gasped, horrified. "Harry?"

Ron nodded glumly. "He was just too distracted. Has been a wreck all week," he said, biting into an apple he snatched up from the table. Chewing thoughtfully, he looked at Ginny, giving her a funny look. "Since your party, in fact."

"I thought you said he was fine," Ginny said, looking at Hermione confused.

"He was fine," Hermione assured her, just as confused. "In fact, better than fine. He seemed almost happy for a change. I've been so busy since then that I haven't seen him much." She turned to Ron questioningly. "You've been with him this whole time. What happened?"

"I know he seemed okay for a bit," Ron admitted, "but... well, I found an empty potions bottle in the bin yesterday when I took it out."

"_What_," Hermione's shocked voice cried. "Why didn't you tell me he was using that stuff again?"

Ginny looked between them totally lost. "Using what?"

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances and Ron nodded his head to her silent question.

"Harry's been taking illegal potions," she said softly. "We begged him to stop and we thought he had, but obviously he's at it again."

Ginny's blood ran cold. "Illegal potions?" she repeated, not believing what she was hearing. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Ron said quietly. "If anyone finds out he'll be kicked out of Auror School for certain. What I can't figure out is what'd make him go back to using. Did something happen that I don't know about?" He turned to look at Hermione.

"Nothing out of the ordinary that I know of," Hermione answered. "Ginny, can you think of anything?"

Ginny, who had been staring at Harry's closed door and contemplating going after him, jumped.

"No, nothing that I can recall offhand," she said nervously. Controlling her emotions, she added smoothly, "He seemed pretty normal to me that night. Although he was a little hacked off at Fred and George over their new Potter's Pickles product."

"They showed me that," Ron said. "That's probably it."

Changing the subject, Hermione asked him about the mission. Ron excitedly began to recount the mission for her, giving a detailed blow by blow account as he opened the refrigerator looking for more food. When his back was turned, Hermione unobtrusively motioned for Ginny to go and talk to Harry while she distracted Ron. Gratefully, Ginny complied. Slipping away, Ginny didn't even bother knocking. She just quietly opened the door, surprised to find it unlocked. He either wanted someone to come find him, or was too angry to think about locking it. She stepped inside the darkened room, closing the door quietly and silently muttering a powerful locking spell. She didn't need Ron bursting in here, even if he did have the best of intentions.

Once her eyes adjusted to the dark Ginny saw him huddled in a corner, hugging his drawn up knees, his head back and resting agains the wall and his eyes shut tight. He looked very young and utterly defeated, an almost tangible pain present on his pale face. His glasses were still on but they had slipped down on his nose, slightly askew.

She knelt down and joined him on the floor, gathering him in her arms as her mother had always done for her when she was upset. He jumped slightly as she pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him snugly, but by some miracle he allowed her to hold him, leaning into her tiredly and resting his head wearily on her shoulder. To Ginny, it felt the most natural thing in the world and she breathed in his freshly showered scent greedily. She'd missed him desperately.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently after several long moments of silence.

"Do I look all right?" he mumbled wearily.

She couldn't bring herself to lie. "No, you look terrible."

He opened one lazy eye to look at her and said in a defeated voice, "Just another reason you shouldn't be here." Pulling away, his jaw tensed and he banged the back of his head against the wall hard. "Why don't you just go?"

"Where should I go, Harry?" she asked, her stomach churning with anxiety and frustration.

"Far away from me," he answered, his voice as dull as the look in his eyes. "I'll only drag you under with me Ginny and I couldn't bear that. I'm drowning in misery and I don't want that for you."

"Harry," she said gently. "Haven't you learned by now? I'm tougher than I look. I can be strong for both of us."

He looked up at her, lost. "Why would you even bother?"

She answered from her heart. "For this," she said, touching her hand to his heart.

"And this," she said, brushing those same fingers over his soft lips.

A low guttural sound escaped from his throat at the contact, and she knew she was getting through.

"A-are you certain?" he asked, his voice wobbling as he searched her eyes for doubt. "I have no strength in me to fight you, Ginny. You have to be certain."

She wedged his denim clad legs apart and crawled over so that she was planted in front of him. Leaning in closer, she hovered just over his mouth, planting her hands on the wall behind him so that he was trapped. There was no escaping her.

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life," she said honestly.

He flinched when she brought her lips to his and tried to pull away at first. But, like the last time, she wouldn't let him. She'd make him understand if it bloody well took her whole life to do it. He was all she wanted – all she had ever wanted.

Before she knew it, he was responding, tugging her closer, and she willing gave herself over to him. She breathed a sigh of relief as he caressed her lips tenderly and explored the curve of her neck. Closing her eyes, she lost herself to the sensations, feeling sexier than she could ever remember feeling. It felt so right to be here with him like this. She knew she was made for him and him alone.

In no time they ended up on the rug, entwined, with Ginny pinned underneath him. She raised a leg and wrapped it around him possessively, so close they could be one person. Their kisses turned desperate, like a roaring inferno raging out of control – she felt sure she would burn up with the heat of it. It was a long, tortured dance full of unleashed passion and sweet tenderness. Underneath her fingers she could feel him shaking.

"Something's happening to me, Ginny," he whispered, leaning his forehead into hers. His glasses had long since been discarded, as had his shirt. "I'm feeling things I never thought I'd feel again. It's all there and it's wonderful... and at the same time terrible, but beautiful. You're doing something inside me. Can you feel it?" He looked up at her and his eyes were so dark they looked black; the energy radiated off his body.

She nodded, holding his gaze. Tears slid down her cheeks but she smiled, hoping he wouldn't question her anymore. Some things were better left unsaid.

Willing to live with the consequences, she opened up fully to him, feeling the shadow of darkness creep into her soul. It was like a dam had burst inside of him and now it was spilling over into her. She could feel it coming and it terrified her. Part of her knew – had always known – that he had the power to destroy her, but at that very moment it didn't matter. She would take it all from him if she could. As she looked into the deep wells of his eyes, she found herself tumbling headfirst into the darkness, unable to stop. She was drowning in him. Then and there, an infinitesimal seed of doubt planted itself in her mind. If he chose to discard her after all this was over, it would devastate her. She had kept him safe in her heart for so long without one word of encouragement from him. Maybe he was just playing with her… using her.

"Ginny?" she heard him whisper uncertainly. "Should... should we stop?"

She shook her head, tears falling freely down her cheeks. Whatever happened she would willingly do it. Her very soul was his to take.

"We don't have to do this, you know." His voice was vulnerable and hesitant.

Accepting her fate with open arms, she whispered back, "I love you, Harry. I'm yours, if you want me."

It was all the invitation he needed. He crushed his lips to hers, kissing her so completely she thought she might faint. They made love for the first time, exploring each other's bodies with reckless abandon and intense passion. He didn't say a word to her, but it was all there on his face. She knew the spell had changed and he no longer had to bear all of it alone. She had taken some of the burden off his shoulders and the more they were together like this, the less he would have to suffer.

When they were both sated, Ginny followed him into sleep, dreaming of Tom and the diary and other troubling things. Her dreams were dark, but when she awoke she was lying beside the man she loved and he had a smile on his face.

She smiled, too, love filling her heart. It had been worth it.

Without a doubt, _he_ was worth it.

A/N: Update in one week. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	3. Tourniquet

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning: **This story contains sexual content and implied drug use. If that bothers you or you are under age, please do not read.

**Chapter Three: **_Tourniquet_

Morning's dawn found Harry and Ginny sleeping peacefully, wrapped in each other's arms. The first signs of daybreak broke through the window and fell on the pair, causing them to stir at about the same time.

Harry opened one bleary eye and immediately had to shield his face from the bright rays. As he did, Ginny groaned and he realised with a shock what had happened. He thought maybe he had been dreaming, but there she was – she was really here. He could feel her warm body next to him, half wrapped in covers and half wrapped around him, soft and inviting.

He smiled happily, his heart swelling with emotion, and with a start he understood what had changed – for the first time in over a year he felt wonderfully happy. What's more, he had never had a better night's sleep; he could not recall waking up feeling so peaceful and content in all his nineteen years.

Everything was brilliantly perfect except for one thing… he really needed to use the loo rather badly.

Unfortunately, he didn't have one in his room and the nearest one was down the hallway right past Ron's room and across from Hermione's. Even though his two best friends were engaged to be married, Hermione still insisted on separate bedrooms. Harry knew perfectly well that Ron ended up in her room most every night, but he still had his own space to occupy whenever they were rowing. Ron usually ended up sleeping in his own room at least once a week and lately, since they had been arguing about Hermione's upcoming trip, he had slept there more often.

Harry pulled himself out of Ginny's embrace reluctantly. As he moved her slender arm, he smiled to see her wearing the bracelet he had bought. The sight of her wearing it and nothing else was enough to wake the desire that was lingering just below the surface. A feeling of bliss raced through him, making him feel slightly giddy and lighter than air. He wondered briefly if one could get pissed on love.

He considered Apparating into the bathroom but decided against it. If Hermione or Ron was already there, it could cause a very awkward situation. Not that it wouldn't get awkward anyway soon enough….

Ginny opened her eyes sleepily and smiled as he threw on some clothes. She was laying face-down on her stomach, her slender back exposed, and looked extremely comfortable in his bed.

"Harry, where are you going?" she asked in a pouting, scratchy, sexy sort of voice that had him cursing his bladder. He wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with her and show her exactly how much he loved her at the moment.

"I'm on my way to the bathroom. Do you, er….?" he asked uncertainly.

Ginny blushed and nodded. "Actually, yes, I do. Erm, how are we going to…?" she asked hesitantly.

He hadn't thought of that; it was one thing for him to stride down the hallway, but quite another for Ginny, of course. She just couldn't waltz down the hallway sporting yesterday's rumpled clothes right in front of her brother and uptight best friend. There would be a row for certain.

"Maybe you could just, I don't know… Apparate back home?"

Ginny looked thoughtful for a moment. "That's tricky. With the wards we have in place there, I don't know if I'd make it without anyone knowing I've been gone all night. I'd have to sneak into the house, and what if I got caught? How would I explain _that_ to Mum and Dad? 'Sorry… Harry and I had a good shag last night and I didn't make it home for supper. I'll call next time we decide to have a go at each other, though,'" she said with a sarcastic smirk on her face.

"I suppose that isn't our best choice, is it?" Harry agreed, grinning, pleased that she was already assuming there would be a next time. "On the other hand, I don't fancy walking past Ron and Hermione and having to explain things to them either. Any other ideas?"

"Now that you mention it…." her eyes gleamed, "do you have your invisibility cloak in here handy?"

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed. "You're brilliant!" He dug around in his old Hogwarts trunk and came up with it. "I haven't had to use it in quite a while. Not much call for sneaking around these days."

Laughing, Ginny sat up and drew the sheet around her modestly. "Stick with me, Potter, and we'll be doing plenty of sneaking, if that's what tickles your fancy."

Bending down on one knee he smoothed her wild hair and touched her face tenderly. "_You're_ what I fancy, and I don't give a rat's arse who knows it," he said.

She looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. "Harry…" she choked out breathlessly. "Y-you don't have to say that just because we…."

"I'm not." He studied her unblinkingly, trying to read the emotions on her beautiful, bedraggled face. "Last night meant more to me than you can ever know."

"Really?"

"Really." He pulled her to her feet – sheet and all – and swept her into a tight embrace, practically lifting her off her feet.

"I feel like a different person, thanks to you. Last night you made me feel things I never thought I'd feel again. You gave me hope, Ginny." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

Ginny smiled warmly, leaning into him. "I'll never give up on you Harry. Ever." She arched her eyebrow. "But right now we both need to use the loo, so why don't we table this discussion till later?"

He chuckled as she turned and threw on last night's clothes, and then donned the invisibility cloak. When she was securely invisible, Harry picked up his wand and flicked it at the door, releasing the spells he had placed on it the night before. Quietly sliding it open, he checked the hallway; finding it clear and Ron's door closed, he silently padded down the corridor, grateful he couldn't hear Ginny following closely behind him.

He thought he was home free until he reached the bathroom door and found it occupied. He was just beginning to turn around and find that flowerpot when the door swung open and Ron stepped out, bare-chested, his hair still wet from the shower.

Both boys gave a startled yelp. "Oi, Harry!" Ron exclaimed irritably. "What in the bloody hell are you _doing_?"

"W-what'd ya mean?" he answered, trying to control his terrified, beating heart.

"You scared the bejeezes out' a me," he said, shaking his head. "I wasn't expecting you to be up already. Thought I'd have to wake your arse up, actually. Hurry up or we'll be late for class."

He cursed. "Damn! I forgot all about class today. What time is it?"

"No worries, mate," Ron said, giving him a funny look and checking his watch. "You still have 20 minutes before we have to leave. Plenty of time!"

Harry shoved passed Ron, who shook his head and stepped aside, but he didn't close the door until he felt the swish of invisible fabric around his ankles and Ginny's soft whisper near his ear affirming that she was in.

Now in a rush, he quickly relieved himself as Ginny disentangled from the Invisibility Cloak. Turning on the shower with a flick of his wand, he barely waited for it to heat up before he jumped in after stripping off his jeans, flinging them across the room in his haste. He was just lathering up when Ginny startled him by slipping in behind him, but smiled broadly when she slid her hands around his chest and helped him wash. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, and he wasn't a bit embarrassed to be sharing a shower with a girl. He quickly decided he liked this new intimacy, this trust, between them.

"You know I'm going to be late, don't you?" he groaned. She was torturing him with her hands, but it felt so wonderful he couldn't complain.

"Yes," she said in a playful, amused voice, rubbing her hand sensuously over his chest and then a bit lower, "but I can make it worth your while…."

Harry took her hands in his and pulled them to him tightly, leaning back against her. He'd gladly skive off training today if he thought he could get away with it. Unfortunately, after last night's dismal performance, he knew his future as an Auror was on shaky ground.

He turned around and held her to him tightly, looking deeply into her eyes. "How about I take you out tonight for a proper date?" he said. "…Then we can continue this afterward."

Ginny sighed, disappointed but resigned. "I have an interview today anyway. Besides, I'm sure Mum is having kittens and ready to call out the entire Order of the Phoenix to find me." She frowned. "I wonder why Ron didn't ask a load of questions. He was here last night when I went into your room, and he obviously didn't see me leave."

Harry chortled quietly. "Ron was in such a good mood last night, I'd bet a thousand galleons he and Hermione were too busy celebrating to notice much of anything." He became serious again, thinking of how he had almost botched the mission and gotten everyone on his team 'killed' in the process. "I might be free sooner than I want to be, actually. In fact, I'll be shocked if I'm still in the program by the end of the day after last night's fiasco."

Ginny kissed his cheek and massaged his shoulders gently. "Remember who you are, Harry."

"Yeah, I know… the bloody Boy-Who-Lived," he said grimacing bitterly. "That won't get me much these days though, not after the year I've had."

"No," she said firmly, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You're the man I love, the most capable wizard I've ever met. Don't let anyone take that away from you."

Harry could see the truth of her words in her deep brown eyes and he felt the sensation again of melting into her as he gazed into her eyes. Their souls seemed to connect for one perfect moment, and his heart leapt into his throat. He couldn't answer – couldn't speak for the lump that had formed there.

Instead he pulled her close, bringing his mouth to hers and letting the soothing warm water flow over them both as they kissed deeply. The feeling of her unclothed body next to his was driving him wild with desire. She had just admitted that she loved him! He wanted nothing more than to stay here for hours, making love to Ginny under the spray of the water and showing her how much he returned her love, but a loud bang outside the bathroom caused them to jump apart in surprise.

"Get out of the blasted shower, already, Harry!" Ron shouted from outside the door. "If you're not geared up and ready to go in 10 minutes, I'm leaving your arse!"

Harry groaned. "I'll be ready!" he shouted back irritably, adding a few choice expletives of his own that had Ginny giggling.

They both finished up quickly after that, foregoing the teasing foreplay in favour of speediness. After they towelled off and dressed, Harry brushed his teeth and combed his hair, performing a fast drying spell on Ginny's hair for her and watching as she brushed the tangles out and tied it up in a knot on top of her head quickly.

"I'll wait in your room until you're gone," she said as she slipped the cloak back on around her shoulders, leaving only her head visible. "I need time to think up a good excuse for Mum in case she asks where I've been all night. What time are we meeting this evening, and how should I dress?"

Harry thought for a minute, searching his mind for a place special enough to take her. He wanted it to be memorable but fun, something they could both look back on with fondness as the place where they spent their first date, "How does seven o'clock sound to you? I'll pick you up. That'll give me time to get back, shower, change, and make some arrangements. Dress in your nicest casual Muggle outfit… but comfortable," Harry said after a split second. "Something appropriate for a night on the town, I think. Tonight, _I _feel like celebrating."

He opened the door and walked down the hall, feeling the thin fabric of the cloak brush up against him every once in a while as they made their way back to his room. He could smell the delicious aromas of bangers and eggs wafting in from the kitchen and he heard Ginny's stomach growl.

She giggled as she pulled the cloak off once they were safely in his room. "Good thing Ron wasn't around. I didn't realise I was so hungry until I smelled the food!"

"Me either," Harry agreed. "I suddenly feel famished!"

Ginny looked delighted. "I haven't heard you say that in such a long time, Harry."

He blushed and busied himself with getting his gear ready so that she would not see how pleased he was with her approval. As soon as he was ready, she hid behind the door. He gave her one last, deep kiss full of promise before he opened the door and met Ron in the living room by the fireplace.

Hermione was there too. She shoved a plate of food into his hands. "Eat," she ordered. "You can't go all day without eating or you'll be sick."

Harry grinned happily and wolfed down the food. He finished in minutes and then downed a big glass of pumpkin juice. "Thanks Hermione," he said happily. "That was the best meal I've had in ages."

She gave him a curious look but smiled, looking extremely pleased. "Are you feeling better today, Harry?" she asked curiously. "You look… different."

"I feel smashing, Hermione," he answered with a wide grin. "…Like a new man." On impulse, he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he whooshed off after Ron in a blaze of emerald fire.

Hermione was left alone in the living room holding an empty plate of food, blinking owlishly at an empty fireplace. Her eyes narrowed, thinking.

"Hmmm…."

Deliberately, she hummed to herself as she bustled around the kitchen, cleaning up the breakfast dishes and putting the remaining food on a plate. When she was done she picked up the plate and walked over to Harry's bedroom door, knocking loudly.

"Open up Ginevra Weasley. I know you're in there."

Ginny timidly opened the door and stepped outside, dressed in last night's rumpled clothes. Hermione shoved the plate of food into her hands roughly. "Eat," she ordered in a stern, no nonsense voice. "And then we are going to have a nice, long chat young lady. I need to know what's going on between you and Harry because if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I doubt I'd believe it."

(break)

Harry was surprised upon his arrival at the Auror Centre for Trainees (or ACT, as most people called it), to learn he was not sacked. In fact, the instructors gathered them together in the largest training room and immediately began the newest phase of instruction: Stealth and Surprise Attack.

The trainees were placed on risers to watch a simulation of a sneak attack on a group of Death Eaters holed up in a corner of the room. The vast room was lined with various obstacles which all had to be navigated carefully so as to not set off an alarm and alert the 'Death Eaters' of the coming attack.

Harry practically bounced up and down with anticipation as he and Ron took seats towards the back of the risers. He felt an overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation, like a surge of emotions that were finally breaking free from the bonds that had held them for over a year. They were all so close to the surface he was finding it difficult to control them, and he honestly didn't want to.

He had an extremely difficult time keeping himself from laughing, but did whistle and clap enthusiastically, when Agent Tonks was called up to demonstrate the _improper _way to launch a surprise attack. Harry hadn't seen her in months. She had been out of the country tracking down Draco Malfoy and some renegade Death Eaters who refused to believe that Voldemort was really gone for good this time. If she were back, Harry wondered if perhaps Remus and Hagrid were back as well. They had been sent along with a group of Aurors to scope out the more unsavoury areas of Europe for Death Eater activity.

It was no surprise that Tonks proceeded to make every dunderhead mistake she could possibly make, setting the alarms off with every botched attempt. Her natural clumsiness mixed with her outlandish appearance – her hair was bright green today with severe pink spikes – made for a comical combination. Despite this, the trainees were expected to take this exercise seriously and spot as many errors as they possibly could. Laughter was not appropriate, no matter how funny Tonks made it seem. Harry couldn't help himself, though. His barely contained laughter soon attracted some attention from other trainees around him, including Ron. Most of the others were either trying to figure out what was so funny, or frowned at him disapprovingly. Ron just looked flabbergasted; Harry realised it was probably because his best friend hadn't seen him laugh in a long, long time. It must have been contagious, though, because soon Ron had joined in and it felt just like old times – just like they were back at Hogwarts.

Ron and Harry's mischief in the back of the classroom finally attracted the attention of the instructors, who did a double-take when they saw who, exactly, was making the ruckus. They had never had this particular problem before with these two. Harry had always been too sullen and distracted, while Ron was too focused on impressing the instructors, helping Potter whenever he could, and generally far too serious about the program to risk the instructors' wrath.

Auror Greenhorn, the head instructor, called a halt to the demonstration and stalked over to the two trainees who were still fighting to control their laughter. He ordered them both down front to stand at attention in front of the class; clearly, his intention was to shake some sense into them and set an example for the rest of the class, but it didn't work. For Harry, the harder he tried to hold it in, the funnier he thought it was – and the harder Ron laughed at Harry's efforts to control himself.

"Gentlemen, I fail to see the humour. We are training you to handle yourself in life and death situations. Given your dismal performance last night, Potter, I _suggest_ you exercise some control." Greenhorn scowled at the pair, causing Harry to recall his potions class with Professor Snape and laugh even harder. Greenhorn greatly resembled Snape, except that he was much shorter and fatter, and he didn't have much hair. Come to think of it, he didn't look like Snape at all. It must be the fact that they both hated him and wanted to see him fail that caused the connection to form in his mind. Harry found that _extremely _funny, and he tried miserably to contain his laughter.

"I- I'm… sorry… Prof- I mean Sir…." he sputtered. "I just… couldn't… help recalling all… the times… Tonks tripped… over her own… two feet… and Moody yelling… at her about… her clumsiness... and all the times… she tried to help Molly in the kitchen… only to have the meal… ruined… because she dropped something or… spilled it."

"Harry!" Tonks yelled from her position on the floor where she was sprawled after having tripped over her fallen wand. "I _might_ be offended if I wasn't pleased as punch to see you looking so happy for a change." She jumped up excitedly and ran over to him. "Wait till I tell Remus! He won't believe me. I might have to come entertain the class more often if this is the reaction I'm going to get!"

She almost barrelled him over with a big bear hug that would have had them both sprawled on the floor if Ron hadn't steadied them.

"It's good to see you, Tonks!" Harry exclaimed excitedly. "How long have you been back? Are Remus and Hagrid with you? Did you catch Malfoy and Nott?" Ron was asking his own questions about Charlie and Bill, who were among the search party.

"Mr. Potter!" Greenhorn cried out indignantly. "Auror Tonks! Mr. Weasley! _That is quite enough_! We are in the middle of a _training _session. Now is not the time to catch up on such matters!"

"Aw, Joe!" Tonks said casually. "Lighten up, why don't ya? Bugger it all, but it's good to see the kid laugh. It's been far too long." She ruffled Harry's messy hair affectionately. "If Sirius could see you now, Harry, he'd be so proud. Just wait 'til I tell Remus," she said again, shaking her head in wonder. "He'll be so 'appy he'll probably howl all night! We've all been worried about you since… well, _you_ _know_."

Harry blushed and finally got himself under control. The whole class was staring at them with a mixture of curiosity, irritation, and confusion. Many were scowling, but a few were smiling. Ron was grinning from ear to ear.

"When did this happen?" she asked the two. "What changed?"

Ron stared at Harry in astonishment. "I'd like to know that, myself."

Harry just shrugged and grinned widely. He knew he must look a fool but he couldn't stop smiling. It felt so good to _feel_ happy again. It had been so long….

"You might say I woke up this morning with a new perspective on life," he told them. "Someone showed me that there was still hope."

"Whoever she was," Tonks said, grinning broadly, "I owe her a big bottle of the finest scotch and a lifetime supply of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."

Harry blushed harder. "Whoever said it was a she?" he mumbled. Thinking of his night with Ginny had him redder than Ron's hair, and Tonks hooting with laughter. He couldn't look either of them in the eye and became suddenly interested in a spot on the floor near his left toe.

"Not to worry, Harry-kins," she said cheekily. "I won't let anyone in the Order tease you _too _badly."

Mr. Greenhorn cleared his throat noisily. He seemed determined to keep the upper hand and gain control of his class once again. His voice was strongly disapproving and heavily laced with sarcasm. "Since Mr. Potter is in such a _good_ mood today, Auror Tonks, perhaps he would like to assist us today with our little demonstration."

He shot Harry a look that clearly said he thought he was doomed. Despite his rather dumpy appearance, Instructor Greenhorn was the senior Auror in charge of training new recruits. He was deadly accurate with spells and the fastest dueller in the organization. Harry's performance thus far had been so disappointing Greenhorn had tried twice to have him dismissed from the program. The powers that be at the Ministry, however, had overridden his decision and vetoed the action. The unofficial word was Potter stayed because of his reputation as the defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The publicity angle was just too great to turn down. Harry knew this made Greenhorn extremely annoyed with him because he felt that Harry's reputation was very over-rated.

In all honesty, Harry couldn't blame him – he _had_ been performing dismally – but all that was about to change, starting today. He knew he needed to focus and resolved to treat this like his first day – and that meant getting control of himself.

Tonks' eyes lit up. "Yes, Harry," she said, clearly missing Greenhorn's menacing tone, "let's show'em how it's done. Enough of this tomfoolery. How 'bout it?"

Harry was reluctant to draw more attention to himself. "No, I-" he started, but Greenhorn cut him off.

"Perhaps I did not make myself clear," he said. "You _will _assist Auror Tonks in her demonstration. After the way you handled yourself during last night's mission, I'm sure it won't take long for you to breech the wards and alert every Death Eater within 100 meters of your approach," he sneered.

A sudden determination came over Harry and he wanted nothing more than to show this git that he could do it – to prove it to himself, if nothing else. Greenhorn didn't realise something had changed. Ginny was back in his life and had somehow managed to break the spell that had been holding him prisoner for over a year. That other Harry was gone, and in its place was the old Harry – only better.

Harry and Tonks took their positions at the start of the course and waited for the go ahead to start. When they got it, they nodded at each other and quickly cast a silencing charm on themselves – a trick Mad Eye Moody had taught them two years ago. This kept their shoes from squeaking or making any sound as they moved from one obstacle to another.

The next thing that Harry did was control his breathing. He felt the familiar nervousness in the pit of his stomach, even though he knew this was just a simulation. He drew upon the feelings of calmness and peace he had the night before and felt significantly better. He knew he could do this. It was only a simulation, after all, and he had faced much worse and survived.

They moved cautiously through the course, dodging traps and using all the detection spells they knew to avoid the wards erected by the instructors. Harry had studied these extensively during his year-long Horcrux hunt. Hermione had insisted on it.

Some of the traps were pretty obvious, while others required a great deal of caution and thought. Ironically, some of the obstacles were the very same ones he had gotten by when he went to rescue Ron and Hermione. Yesterday, that fact might have distracted him so much he would have failed the course, but today his confidence increased with every successful outcome.

The two worked together nicely and, at times, almost seemed to be communicating telepathically. On several occasions, though, Harry barely caught Tonks before she set off an alarm.

As they approached the last obstacle, a particularly difficult combination of spells and enchantments that could have several different outcomes, Harry stopped short of the obstacle and just stared at it. He held up his hand for Tonks to stop. Something just wasn't right about it. It was too simple…

He weighed his options. Tonks looked at him expectantly, raising her shoulders in question, a sign that she had no clue what to do and it was clearly going to be up to him to decide. Several options raced through his head, but which one…? Nervously, he dragged his hand through his hair. He needed to get this right.

Then, like an epiphany, it hit him. He saw clearly what he had to do. With a flick of his wand and a well-aimed severing spell he was through; the whole intricate system of enchantments came crashing down, leaving the group of instructors posing as Death Eaters exposed.

No one had told him he would have to fight, but it should have been no surprise since the course was called "Stealth and Surprise Attack." As the "Death Eaters" rushed towards them casting spells, Harry and Tonks dove for cover. In minutes, they were engaged in an all-out combat simulation. The instructors weren't wasting time with namby-pamby spells either. They were throwing curses and jinxes around at an alarming rate, although many were ill-aimed and not particularly powerful in their haste; they hadn't expected their wards to be broken so quickly.

Harry and Tonks hid behind a wall that had been part of one of the obstacles. After a few more minutes of exchanging curses, it was clear that they would lose if something wasn't done soon. They were vastly outnumbered and at a disadvantage behind the wall. They could hold out for awhile, but soon they would tire and then it would be all too easy for the instructors to overtake them. As he traded hexes and jinxes, a plan began to form in his mind. It was risky, and he wasn't even sure it would work, but it was definitely worth a shot. Tonks' eyes widened as he explained what he was going to do, but her eyes twinkled at the same time.

As she volleyed curses back and forth to keep their opponents busy, Harry concentrated on what needed to be done. Then, in a blink of an eye, he disappeared and reappeared behind the instructors. They had no idea he was even there. Using the fact that the small group was now surrounded to his advantage, Harry suddenly threw a volley of curses that disabled two of the five. The other three, now realizing that they were surrounded, split up and began fighting the two on different fronts. Probably because he was seen as the weakest link, two of the three went after Harry hoping to disable him quickly and then move on to Tonks.

Harry cast a shield charm on himself as protection from the incoming spells. Then he began trading hexes and curses with the pair at lightening speed. Several times he disappeared and then reappeared in a different spot – one that would give him a better advantage.

Harry could never remember performing so well in a combat situation. This felt like child's play to him. He knew without a doubt that no one could touch him. Not since that night in Voldemort's lair when he had defeated him had Harry felt such power deep inside himself. It was like a wall had broken and everything that was _him_ was spilling out. It was all his opponents could do to stay on their feet. They sent spells in return, but they just seemed to bounce off him, causing no more harm than a pesky fly.

Without meaning to, he found himself using his left hand to maintain the shield while his wand hand shot curses. He didn't stop to think that this was impossible – he had never heard of a shield charm that allowed spells to go out but not come in – but he was doing it.

It didn't take long before all three Aurors were defeated. As soon as the last "Death Eater" was downed, the crowd of trainees erupted in a loud cheer, with Ron's voice the loudest. Harry could hear his distinctive whoops and exclamations above all the others and he swelled with pride. He had done it!

Tonks high-fived him, grinning wildly. "I haven't seen spell work like that since… well, since over a year! Welcome back, Harry! Well done!"

"Thanks," he said, grinning.

Elation was an understatement – this feeling went beyond anything he had felt so far. The happiness welled up inside him and he thought he might burst from the forgotten feeling. The old sense of confidence in his defensive abilities had returned and he was starting to think he might be alright after all.

All thanks to Ginny.

Just thinking her name brought about a new tidal wave of emotions that swept him away with the force of it. Even surrounded by people and the centre of attention, he could recall her touch, her smell, her laugh; she was intoxicating. He physically ached for her.

"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked as he pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

Harry could feel his cheeks flush and he felt slightly dizzy. The ache was growing, just thinking about her and some of the elation at performing so well was ebbing. It was like coming down from a high and crashing without warning or walking along a bridge only to have it break suddenly, sending him plunging towards the cold water below.

"Nothing," he mumbled, fighting the shadow of sadness that was beginning to worm its way back in. "It's nothing," he lied.

"Good," Ron said loudly. "Because that performance was bloody brilliant! I _insist _that you show me that shield charm. I've never seen anything like it! Excellent mate!"

Suddenly Greenhorn's booming voice reverberated over the loud din of conversation, making almost everyone in the vicinity jump to attention.

"Potter!"

His stride was purposeful and directed towards him; the look on his face stern but otherwise unreadable. Harry stiffened, expecting to get another rude comment from his critical instructor.

"Yes sir?" he asked guardedly, aware of how loud his voice sounded in the sudden hush.

Greenhorn stopped in front of him. His plump face studied Harry closely. "That was some extremely impressive work you just did," he said begrudgingly. "What I want to know is… where has that been all along?" His voice demanded a response.

Harry hesitated, not knowing how to explain. Telling the truth would open up a whole can of flobberworms he'd rather not get into at the moment…

Instead he said, "Have you ever felt like you've been living in a nightmare for a very long time and then, suddenly, one day you find that you've woken up and everything has changed for the better, Sir?" he said carefully.

Greenhorn looked confused. "Like after the war?"

"Yes, Sir," Harry said quietly. "Something happened to me during that last battle with Voldemort, and I've been stuck in a nightmare of his creation every since. But last night with the help of someone very special, I woke up."

"Well, Potter," Greenhorn said affably, "I do hope that it continues. Your performance today was nothing short of astonishing. And I must add, coming from you… quite unexpected. I hope to see that sort of effort in future." His eyes were rock steady and challenging.

"With all due respect, Sir," he said evenly, looking him straight in the eye, "my effort has never been the issue. But I think things are _definitely_ going to be changing around here."

"Damn straight!" Ron added, practically tacking Harry and messing his hair up even more than it already was. "I can't wait to tell Hermione!" he said gleefully.

Harry laughed and wrestled him off, forgetting all about the sudden darkness that had come over him earlier. It didn't matter… not when he was so happy.

(break)

Ginny's talk with Hermione was illuminating. She thanked the forces of the universe that her friend was so astute. When she never emerged from Harry's room the night before, Hermione had tried to knock but found the door sealed and a silencing charm in place. She had put two and two together and taken it upon herself to cover for Ginny. Her Mum thought she was spending the night with them to celebrate Ron's success, and Ron – who had taken a shower soon after Ginny went into Harry's room – thought she had gone home.

To Ginny's surprise, Hermione did not question her much about what had taken place last night – she was more curious about Harry's change in attitude. Ginny tried to explain while remaining as discrete as possible. But she hadn't told her friend everything. Even now, on her way to the Ministry for her interview with the head of the Auror division, she felt the melancholy roiling around in her soul.

On the one hand she was happy – as happy as she could ever remember feeling. But on the other hand, she sensed the blackness in her soul; a darkness that was not her own and did not belong to her, but was real all the same.

It was a familiar feeling. A feeling she had thought was long gone because she had buried it so far away, she had fooled herself into thinking she was cured. Only occasionally now did the nightmares come.

_He's gone and he's never coming back._ This was what she told herself over and over again to combat the rising panic that came whenever she thought about him. Yet, no matter what she did, the thing inside her would not be swayed. It was like a seed that had lain dormant over the long winter; she could feel it taking root in her soul, waiting to be nourished so that it could spread and grow and thrive.

Concentrating on the other part of her soul helped. Like Devil's Snare, it withered in the rays of light that filled her heart when she thought about Harry.

_Harry_.

She could feel him even now – his touch, his smell, his skin. If she closed her eyes she knew she would see him there, staring at her with such intensity that her body would respond just from the mere thought of him. She could scarcely believe what had happened between them. She burned with want and need, and countless other feelings she could not name.

She was the luckiest girl in the world… wasn't she?

She longed to see him again, but at the same time she found herself afraid. What was wrong with her? Couldn't she just have this one thing and leave it at that? Why did Harry always have to be synonymous with hurt and pain and shame?

She stepped out of the shadows of the dark alleyway into the streaming sunlight of the London street, directly in front of the Ministry of Magic – her future. The bright afternoon sun chased away the worst of the darkness and the warm rays illuminated her heart. After a moment she felt much better. She could almost pretend that the darkness didn't exist; it was nothing more than her imagination.

Shaking it off, she walked towards her new life with confident, sure steps.

_Harry_. That's what she would focus on. _Harry_. If he could do it, then she would, too. He meant everything to her. Even if her life ended tomorrow, she would never, ever regret what they had shared last night. …Even if the darkness overtook her again, it would be worth it. She'd give her very life for him, if need be. He was her everything.

Ginny smiled to herself as she hurried along. It wouldn't do to be late; she'd never get into the Auror program that way, would she?

**A/N:** Thanks for all the wonderful comments and reviews so far on this story. I really appreciate knowing that people like what I'm doing with this story so far. Please remember to leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks for reading!


	4. Fallen

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning: **This story contains sexual content and implied drug use. If that bothers you or you are under age, please do not read.

Fallen

Ginny stared at herself nervously in her full length mirror, wondering what Harry even saw in her. The dress she had chosen to wear was her best Muggle attire, but it looked like everything else in her wardrobe – shabby and worn. She studied herself critically again. On second thought, maybe it wasn't the pale green dress that made her feel so melancholy. The simple A-line with the short sleeves and a rounded neck was pretty enough. It was the rest of the image that was the problem.

She fastened a simple chain around her neck, wishing that she had something better. On her wrist, she wore the charm bracelet with the golden snitch. The lone charm looked slightly out of place on the empty bracelet, but Ginny didn't care. She loved it with all her heart and would wear it every day, even if she never got another charm to add to it.

After trying several different hairstyles, she finally piled her long red locks on top of her head and attached it with a clip. Next, she decided to apply some lipstick and blush to mask the paleness of her skin. When she was finished, she felt better about her appearance, but still wasn't completely satisfied. If she had long dark hair and exotic eyes, she might feel differently. As it was, she was stuck with bright hair, boring brown eyes, and entirely too many freckles.

She rubbed her glossy lips together anxiously, setting the dramatic colour she had chosen for the occasion. Tonight she felt more nervous than she had in a long time at the prospect of seeing Harry. What would he think of her now? He probably regretted what they had done. She blushed with embarrassment at the thought of their night together. Would he still feel the same way about her? Maybe they'd go out and have a nice time, only to have him tell her that he made a mistake and didn't really like her that way after all.

The jittery feeling intensified and she held a hand to her stomach to calm the fluttering sensation in her belly. Deep down, she knew Harry wouldn't do that to her. But the thought that he could if he wanted to was still troubling enough to make her light-headed.

Stopping suddenly, she got a grip on herself. What was she doing? She had never in her life felt this insecure around another person. Ever. What was it about Harry that caused her to go dry in the mouth and forget who she was and how far she had come? She wasn't ten anymore. She could handle this.

But the next second a wave of… something passed through her and she shivered. Her night with Harry had changed her; she could feel it coursing through her just below the surface of consciousness, but she couldn't name it. Despite her happiness, there was a cloud hanging over her that she couldn't identify. She should be overjoyed – ecstatic even. But she wasn't.

"Ginny, dear!" her mum called from down below. "Harry's here to pick you up for your date!"

Ginny cringed inwardly. She hadn't told her parents that she was going on a date with Harry. She just said she was going out. Damn! That meant Harry must have told them. Now there was no getting out of it. The whole family would know in a matter of hours that she and Harry were and item. _Damn, damn, damn!_

She tried to school her voice as she yelled back, "Tell him I'll be down in a minute, Mum! I'm just finishing up!"

Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, she sighed and smoothed her dress nervously.

"You look lovely, dear," the mirror complimented her.

"At least one of us thinks so," she muttered dryly, but it did make her feel a tiny bit better.

Not finding any more excuses to delay longer, she took a deep breath, picked up her handbag from the dresser, and made her way downstairs.

The living room was empty when she hit the bottom of the stairs, but she could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Her heart hammered painfully when she caught wind of his quiet, respectful voice answering a question posed to him by her mum. That voice never failed to send shivers down her spine. He had no idea what he did to her.

Bracing herself, she fixed a smile on her face and strode confidently through the door, flashing everyone a radiant smile. She was rewarded by a jump and a blush from Harry, who was sitting at the table nursing a hot cup of tea. His face showed everything she wanted to see. He was just as nervous as her, but the look of pleasure was unmistakable and to her amazement she even thought she saw a hint of desire there. Her own face was heating from the implications of what that meant, but she struggled to maintain an air of nonchalance.

"Hello, Harry," she said casually. "Have you been waiting long?"

"Only about fifteen minutes," he said, rising from the table. He was dressed in a Muggle sports jacket and tan trousers. The honest smile on his face completed his sexy ensemble, making Ginny pause and try to school her reaction. She wished desperately her parents weren't there.

"But I was early," he added. She knew he didn't want her to worry that she'd made him wait.

Her parents were obviously trying not to look at them, but finding it difficult. They were making themselves busy in a corner of the kitchen, but they kept shooting them curious looks. Overall, her parents seemed more amused than upset.

Ginny was finding it difficult to talk – Harry was looking at her too intently. She blushed and glanced away, but couldn't keep it up for long. When her eyes wandered back to him, she found that his gaze had not wavered. They stared at each other for a few minutes, not knowing what else to do, until her father's throat clearing brought them back to the present and they both jumped.

"Your mother and I have decided to take advantage of an evening alone. We're going to take in one of those Muggle moving picture shows. Will you be able to lock up before you leave, Ginny?"

"Of course, Dad," she said, flashing her father one of her famous smiles. "We'll take care of it." She turned her eyes back to Harry and found herself lost again. His green orbs were like a magnet and she had a difficult time staying away from them. At the same time, his gaze was very un-nerving. It was as if he was looking straight into her soul, and a small part of her was worried about what he might see there.

Molly and Arthur gathered together what they needed and paused to bid the young couple goodnight. Molly kissed her daughter's cheek and gave her a knowing pat of approval before giving Harry an affectionate hug and kiss good-bye.

Arthur turned to Ginny and paused. Her gaze shifted from the boy she loved to her father.

"Have a nice time, dear," he said quietly, just to her. He paused to looking meaningfully into her eyes, gripping her shoulders tightly. "I trust Harry to be a gentleman. If this is what you want, then you have my blessing. He's is a fine young man and I couldn't think of anyone better for you."

Ginny's heart softened. Her father always knew just what to say. "Thanks, Dad."

"I'll make sure your mother gives you a few days before she tells the whole world," he whispered, winking. "You don't need any additional pressure from your brothers right now. Just… just _enjoy_ your time together."

She felt herself tear up at her father's thoughtfulness. Instead of saying anything, she threw her arms around him and squeezed tightly. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

He looked mildly surprised but just as misty-eyed when he pulled away. "And I love you, too," he said gently.

Harry looked slightly uncomfortable, but Mr. Weasley turned to him and shook his hand firmly.

"Harry," he said in a fatherly way. Ginny understood that he was sending Harry a message just with the tone of his voice.

Harry returned the handshake with a firm one of his own.

"Mr. Weasley," he said evenly.

It occurred to her that the two men exchanged an entire conversation with that small interaction. The whole thing was very strange to Ginny, who had never had this experience before with any of her boyfriends. Everyone seemed to sense this date was different somehow. As she was pondering this her parents exited, leaving the two of them alone.

Harry smiled at her warmly. "You look beautiful," he said.

"Thanks," she said, fighting a blush. "You look pretty good yourself."

Harry seemed to shake himself out of his stupor. "I have something for you," he said, thrusting a small package into her hands.

"Oh!" she said. "You didn't have to…"

"I know," he assured her, "but I wanted to. Open it." He seemed as excited as a boy at Christmas.

She smiled at his enthusiasm and tore open the paper on the tiny, professionally wrapped box. Inside, nestled on a tuft of cotton was another charm. Ginny picked it up and gasped. It was a rainbow. "This is lovely, Harry," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "I've never seen such beautiful colours!"

He looked pleased. "It's imported from Ireland – made by Leprechauns, the clerk said. I liked it when I saw it because it reminded me of you." He paused and took her hand in his, his face deadly serious. "Ginny…. This may sound corny, but you… you brought colour back into my world." Ginny looked at him curiously and was about to say something when he shushed her with a finger to her lips. "Just let me say this, before I lose my nerve."

She nodded mutely.

He took her wrist in his hand and drew his wand. With a simple command, the new charm was in its place next to the golden snitch. As he was doing this he talked. "You brought me back to life, Ginny. I was dead inside, but now… now I'm breathing again. That night – the night of your birthday – I was ready to give up. I was so tired of fighting, of trying to fake my way through life. Then you kissed me, and my world… exploded. I started to rememberhow it felt to be alive, feelings I never thought I'd feel again. Because of you, I can start living again. I missed you so much and I've come to realise that I can't be without you ever again."

"I missed you too, Harry," she said tearfully, but smiled teasingly. "If I'd have known all it would take to bring you back was a good snog and a shag, I would have done it sooner, you git."

He laughed along with her and then kissed her deeply, making her knees go weak. He held her to him tightly, wrapping his strong arms around her tiny waist as she nuzzled her face in his chest, smelling his scent.

Whispering into her hair, he added, "My rainbow, Ginny. That's what you'll always be to me. My colour… my _hope_."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other's arms and feeling the emotion of the moment until Ginny broke away, swiping the tears from her eyes.

"Where are we going, anyway?" she sniffled, trying to bring the conversation around to less emotional ground. She was very curious about what Harry had planned because he hadn't said much that morning.

Harry's eyes sparkled. "You'll see," he said mysteriously.

"How are we going to get there, if I don't even know where _there_ is? I can't Apparate unless you give me a location," she said logically, trying to needle the information out of him. She loved surprises but, knowing her for so long, he certainly knew how crazy they made her and it was clear he was taking full advantage of that knowledge.

"You'll see…" was his enigmatic response.

"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?" she said, frustrated.

"Nope. You'll just have to trust me."

She caught his eye and held his gaze. "I do trust you."

Shaking off the seriousness of the moment, he smiled and held out his arm. "Shall we go?"

"Let's," she said grandly, taking his arm.

They walked to the door and she cast the proper wards and spells as they exited. But once they were free of the house, she still didn't see how they were going to get where they were going.

"Now what?" she asked apprehensively. "Are we taking the Knight Bus, or _Side_-_Along_ _Apparating_?"

"Just wait," he said mysteriously. "You'll see soon enough."

A few seconds later and a black cab came bursting out from nowhere. The magical taxi cab screeched to a halt right in front of them and the driver leaned out the window.

"You order a cabby, mate?" he asked. His fat body held up a fat head with thinning grey hair and when he smiled, his teeth proved to be crooked and yellow.

"Yeah," Harry said, stepping past Ginny and opening the back door for her. She slid in the back and he joined her a moment later. "You know where to go?" he asked the cab driver.

"Yep," he called back. "Got me directions right 'ere," he said, patting his shirt pocket. "You goin' to London, huh?"

"Yeah, that's right," Harry said. "I left _specific_ instructions." He seemed to be trying to shut the talkative cabby up.

"Don't worry none, sir. I know where to go. Know every inch of London, I do," he rambled. "Been driving cabs for more'n twenty years. Yes, sir. I'll get you there faster than you can say You-Know-Who!"

Harry's smile tightened and Ginny felt him stiffen at the reference. She grabbed his hand and squeezed, flashing him a supportive smile. The cabby seemed oblivious to how uncomfortable he was making them and continued to babble on as he drove. The cab, itself, was just as fast as the Knight Bus and sent them flying all over the back seat, but Ginny couldn't complain; she liked being this close to Harry.

"Yes, sir! I seen it all," the cab driver continued, unaffected by the jerky ride. "You-Know-Who even rode in this 'ere cab once. 'Course, he was in disguise, he was. But I swear it was 'im. Some say 'e could transform into anything. I believe it, too. Saw it for me self not more'n three years ago. Just after 'e came back. He was with this little old lady – probably one 'o his Death Eaters – disguised as a cat, 'e was. Scared me so bad, I drove straight into a tree!" He shook his head sadly. "When I looked back, they was gone. Just like that!" he said, snapping his fingers.

The old man peaked at the couple in the rearview mirror, probably to see their looks of horror. It was evident he had told this story many times before. When he didn't get a reaction he tried a different approach. "'Course I didn't worry none. Even through those dark days, I knew little 'arry Potter'd get him in the end. Told me wife that then, too. 'Mavis,' I said. 'Don't you worry none. 'arry Potter will take care of us, just like 'e did before when he was a wee tyke, 'cause You-Know-Who couldn't beat him then, and 'e certainly couldn't beat 'im after getting trained up at Hogwarts under Dumbledore, may 'e rest in peace. Great man, 'arry Potter is…. great man. And no finer wizard there ever was than Albus Dumbledore, 'cept for 'arry Potter 'o course."

Harry squirmed in his seat and Ginny bit her lip to keep from laughing. She'd definitely be teasing him about this later.

Harry self-consciously flatted his bangs over his scar, which was faint and pale but still very visible. "How long before we get there?" he asked pointedly, slumping down in his seat. He and Ginny were getting bounced all over the backseat with every twist and sharp turn.

"Almost there," the cabby replied. He narrowed his eyes in the rearview mirror. "You wouldn't be one of _His _supporters, would you?" he asked suspiciously. "I don't transport no Death Eaters in my cab, so you'd better speak up!"

Harry looked up, surprised, and Ginny was genuinely appalled. "Of course we're not!" she said, indignantly. "Whatever would make you say such a thing?"

The man's eyes were still narrowed suspiciously. "Usually whenever I mention 'arry Potter, I get a favourable response. Unless it's one of _His _supporters. You two just sit there not saying nothin'. What you 'ave against 'arry Potter?" he asked angrily.

Ginny smiled slyly. "I happen to fancy Harry Potter very much," she said, looked at Harry sideways. He reddened but looked pleased. "Ever since I was a little girl, I've had quite a thing for him," she added, loving how uncomfortable she was making Harry.

The cabby looked pleased, but narrowed his eyes at Harry. "And you, young man? Where do you stand? Not jealous of 'im are ya?"

"Not at all," Harry said quickly, looking helplessly a Ginny. When he saw that she was not going to get him out of this he mumbled, "He's okay, I suppose."

"Okay? _Okay_? Why, he's the best thing that e'er 'appened to the wizarding world! Saved us, twice 'e did. You owe your life to 'im, young man. He saved us all! What you have to say 'bout that?" he asked, looking at Harry expectantly.

Harry squirmed but Ginny fixed him with a stare and he knew he'd have to answer. He pleaded with her silently to help him, but she refused to help him out of this one. It was too much fun.

"Yes," she said pointedly, crossing her arms. "What _do_ you say to that, Harry?"

"I-I _think_," he stammered, "that he had a lot of help. He would never have made it without the love and support of those around him. He has a lot of really good friends who never let him down and always stood by him, no matter how much of a prat he was to them. I think – no, I _know_ – that without those friends and the most beautiful girl in the world on his side, he would have certainly been lost. _They're_ the ones the world should thank."

Ginny sucked in her breath as he brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it tenderly.

"He's a very lucky man," Harry said, "to have people like you in his life."

"No," Ginny said fiercely, clutching his hand. "We're the lucky ones."

While they had been talking they hadn't noticed the cab come to a screeching halt in front of a busy Muggle street. The cabby looked back at the two, confused. "So, 'arry Potter is a friend of yours then?" he asked uncertainly, trying to get his small mind to understand.

Ginny and Harry looked at each other and laughed.

(break)

"The look on his face was priceless!" Ginny laughed, as they sat next to each other on the London Underground and reminisced about their recent cab ride to the station. "I bet he tells that story for years to come to anyone who'll listen."

Harry chuckled too. "Yes, and I'm sure Mavis will be the first to hear it."

"It was nice of you to sign the receipt for his dying wife," Ginny said thoughtfully. "I'm sure she'll really appreciate it." She doubted whether Mavis was truly on her deathbed as the cabbie had claimed, but it had pulled at Harry's heartstrings enough to get him to sign his name when requested.

"It was the least I could do," Harry said nonchalantly. "He really seemed to be a big supporter of me and…. Well, er… of me."

Ginny saw the pain that twisted on his face. He had almost said Dumbledore's name. Harry never said the names of the dead, if he could help it. It was like saying their names brought all the pain to the surface and he'd rather bury their memories along with their bodies. He had never told her this but she knew.

"So, you've yet to tell me where we're going," she said, changing the subject.

Harry smiled again. "I've never been there before, but I've been told it's a great place to take a girl on a first date," he said secretively.

"You aren't going to give me even a hint, are you?"

"Just one," Harry said mischievously, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "I doubt it'd help anyway. It's a place loaded with Muggles from all over the world. That's all the hint you're getting, though, missy. You'll just have to wait."

"Hmmm," Ginny mused, trying not to shiver from his closeness. This semi-crowded train suddenly felt very intimate indeed. "That could be almost anywhere in London." She snuggled closer to him, enjoying the liberty. It felt so natural to be this close, even in the company of a train full of strangers. Come to think of it, it was probably easier to be intimate with strangers looking at them than people they knew. Strangers weren't apt to make kissing noises behind their backs like her immature brothers surely would.

They rode in peaceable silence for awhile until their stop was announced. "This is it," Harry said, standing.

"Here?" Ginny asked, surprised they were getting off already. She wished now she had been paying more attention to her whereabouts – she couldn't recall hearing what stop they were on.

They exited the train and found their way to the surface into one of the strangest places Ginny had ever been. It reminded her of Diagon Ally without all the items specific to wizards. They were in a square of some sort teeming with Muggles.

Muggles of all kind were everywhere. Some were walking, some were jogging, and some were riding bikes. Many were just clustered in groups or sitting on the steps of a large fountain. Everywhere Ginny looked, there was life. She had never seen so many Muggles in one place before – not even at King's Cross Station.

The buildings were huge, ominous structures set against the fading London sky. The lighted signs were bright and bold, even in the late afternoon sun. She immediately felt intimidated yet fascinated by the strangeness of it all and instinctively leaned in closer to Harry.

"Where are we?" she whispered.

"Piccadilly Circus," he answered. "It's a big tourist spot. Supposedly there's a statue here of Eros somewhere."

"The god of love?" Ginny asked, wide-eyed.

Harry coloured slightly. "Yes. I think I see it over there!" He pulled her over to a large fountain on a platform with steps all around. People were either loitering on the steps or gazing up at the form of a winged archer high at the centre of the fountain.

They stood at the fountain's edge and craned their necks to see.

Eros stood on one graceful leg, his wings spread wide and his bow held out before him. He seemed to look down on them and smile a knowing sort of smile.

"What do you think he's thinking?" Ginny asked.

"They say if a couple in love stands before Eros and kisses, he will send them a blessing," he answered, still gazing up.

Ginny looked at him intently. "Do they really?" she asked.

It suddenly hit her that – other than their first kiss in the Gryffindor Common Room in front of the entire Gryffindor Tower – she had never kissed him out in public before where so many people could see. She wondered if Harry, who was much shier than her about snogging in public, had thought this through.

He turned and faced her slowly, their eyes locking.

"Yes," he said huskily, as he pulled her close. The kiss was long and sweet, full of promise and withheld passion. When it was over, they held each other for a long time.

"Excuse me!" a pleasant voice called out. They both glanced up to see a young street artist looking to make a quick pound. "Would you be interested in a sketch of the two of you in front of the fountain?" he asked hopefully.

Ginny sighed happily as Harry agreed. "Can you draw the two of us with Eros looking down from above?" he asked the young man.

"No problem," he answered. "I can draw anything you want."

"Won't it be expensive?" Ginny asked, thinking of the money and wondering if Harry had enough Muggle currency to cover the cost.

"It's just a sketch," the young artist assured her. "I charge twenty pounds for a drawing, but if you don't like it you don't have to pay. I'm trying to work my way through art school and I do this to help make ends meet."

"That's fair," Harry said, seemingly unconcerned about the cost. "Where would you like us to stand?"

"How about over there where the light is better? I think it'll cast just the right shadows to make an interesting composition." They agreed and moved to the spot he had suggested.

Half and hour later, Harry paid the young man for the drawing and they parted ways, each satisfied with their end of the deal. The next challenge was to find a deserted spot where Ginny stood in front of Harry while he put an _Imperturbable _charm on the drawing and shrunk it to fit easily inside his shirt pocket.

"Where to now?" she asked excitedly when he was done.

"I've heard of a place around here were they have ten pin bowling. Interested?" he asked, raising his eyebrow in mock challenge.

"Oh, yes!" she squealed, clapping her hands. "I've always wanted to see how that game works. I read about it in Muggle studies years ago."

They headed across the street to a large building called the Trocadero that turned out to be a shopping plaza. Inside were all sorts of restaurants and specialty shops aimed at the Muggle tourists. The top level was an amusement centre with all sorts of games, including the ten pin bowling alley. They whittled away the rest of their date playing video games and trying out every form of "amusement" the place had to offer, discovering they were fairly evenly matched in almost everything. Neither could ever remember having so much fun or laughing so much.

Stumbling back outside after several hours, they happily walked the streets of London hand in hand, marvelling at the lights and people they passed, content in the fact that they were together. For one sweet moment life was simple; they were any new couple falling in love for the first time. There was no Voldemort, no painful past, and no debilitating curse… nothing except for the reality of their new relationship.

It was late when they found their way back to the Burrow. They Apparated directly to the back garden of the Burrow and Harry bent to give Ginny a kiss. His lips were warm and sweet on hers, and she returned it eagerly.

"Tonight was the most fun I've had in years," he whispered, his mouth still hovering over hers. He looked deeply in her eyes and she could see the longing there that surely mirrored her own.

"As first dates go," Ginny smiled as his lips found the sensitive spot on her neck that sent shivers down her spine, "it _was_ pretty good."

He leaned into her and she could feel every inch of his body pressed up to hers. "You're not one of those kind of girls, are you Ginny?" he said, his breath hovering near her ear making her dizzy with the sensation.

"What kind of girl are you referring to, Harry?" she asked innocently. Her heart pounded out an erratic rhythm as she felt his hot kisses trailing down her neck under her earlobe and her body was tense with anticipation. She leaned into him weakly and found her legs were no more steady than a newborn fawn.

Looking around for a place to go, he pulled her behind the tree in the garden – the same shadowy tree where they had shared the kiss on her birthday. This time there was no loud party going on around them, no candles to blow out to spoil the moment. He leaned her against the tree and planted a smouldering kiss on her willing mouth before answering.

His voice was little more than a murmur. "…The kind of girl who only kisses on a first date."

Her eyes widened with understanding as she drunk in his brilliant green eyes brimming with need. "I never kiss and tell, Harry. You know that," she flirted, as she found herself caught up in his stare.

"So you want to play, do you?" he said with a crooked, feral smile, his eyes dancing merrily.

Swiftly, he crushed his mouth to hers again and deepened the kiss immediately. His advance was more demanding this time and a hundred times more exhilarating. Her head leaned against the bark of the tree as his tongue explored the recesses of her inner mouth. She moaned in the back of her throat and then returned the kiss hungrily, feeling his hands work her dress up so that he was touching bare skin. He was slowly sending her over the edge of desire and into the land of pure need. His strong hands skimmed over her thigh and hips, and she instinctively arched towards him. Before she knew it, her fingers were in his hair around his neck, and her legs once again had found their way to his waist.

His mouth was back on her neck now and she heard him say softly, "One thing you need to remember about me, Ginny…is that I like…" he paused to drive his point home, "…to win."

"I think we both win at this game, Harry," she said seriously before moving in for another searing kiss.

"I want you," he said huskily when they pulled apart slight. She could see the truth of it on his darkened face.

"Now?" she asked incredulously, not believing her ears. "Here?"

"…Now," he said, kissing her lazily on the neck. "Here."

She had no power to deny him anything. He must have recognized it, because he crushed his mouth to hers in a possessive way that drove any fear she might have had out the window. The real world spun and careened on its axis as they fulfilled their needs together.

Afterwards, they clung to each other, panting and trying to regain control of their quivering bodies. Harry smiled that same crooked smile as he cupped her face possessively and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Marry me," he said softly but clearly enough that Ginny knew it wasn't her imagination.

"Wh-what?"

"Marry me," he said again seriously, his dark eyes probing hers. His body still had her pinned securely against the tree creating a warm haven that blocked out the rest of the world.

"Do you mean that?" she asked doubtfully, fearing that he'd regret it later.

"I love you," he said, his eyes open and honest. "I think I always have, but I've been stupid. The worst mistake I ever made was giving you up and then sending you away. We've wasted so much time… I want to spend the rest of my life making that up to you."

"Why don't you see how you feel about this in the morning," she said doubtfully.

His eyes flashed. "Don't you love me?"

Ginny's heart melted at the words. How could he think she didn't?

"Harry," she said tenderly. "I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you. Even when I was trying to forget, you haunted me. I have never loved anyone like I love you, and I never will."

"Then marry me," he pleaded. "Now… tonight."

"You can't be serious!" she exclaimed, shock evident on her face.

"What's to stop us? I love you and you love me." His gaze was determined and Ginny had seen that look to often to know that he could be deterred from getting what he wanted. "That's all we need, isn't it? I know someone in the Department of Legal Affairs who could do it for us tonight."

"Tonight! What about Mum and Dad? What about my family? Our friends?" she said, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. But a thrill of excitement and rebelliousness was already taking root. It was a stupid, sinfully romantic thing to do, and the idea of secretly running off with Harry and getting married appealed to her inner wild side.

He thought for a moment then his face lit up again. "We'll tell them in the morning and plan a proper ceremony for the family as soon as possible. They may not like it, but I don't care. I want you to be my wife now, tonight, before you change your mind. I'm never going to let you go, Ginny. This is forever."

She saw the seriousness on his face and in his resolve and knew that she couldn't say no.

"All right, then," she said shakily. "Let's… let's do it."

Harry whooped happily and kissed her again. "After tonight, Ginny, the entire world will know you're mine. You belong to me and I belong to you, forever." He hugged her tightly to him and Ginny felt him release a breath of pent up anxiety. He had thought she might reject his proposal it seemed.

Ginny smiled, but his words had struck a cord in her that made her shiver in the darkness. Tom had once said almost the same exact thing to her.

'_After tonight, you'll be mine, forever, Ginevra… Stop snivelling and give in to your fate.' _

"Are you cold?" Harry asked her with concern, rubbing her arms to create friction and hold off the chill.

"Not anymore," she smiled gratefully.

Purposefully, Ginny tightened her grip on him and resolved to push those memories out of her mind for good. Harry was real and Tom was gone. By morning she would be Mrs. Ginevra Potter and that was all she had ever wanted – he was all she had ever needed.

It would be enough to combat the dark memories and feelings that had been stirred up inside her recently – she was certain of it. She had every intention of making her future with Harry as bright as possible, and their love would shine the way.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story. Reading the nice comments you leave for me is the highlight of my week. I hadn't read this chapter in awhile, so when I went back to edit it I was surprised by how little work it needed. I actually used the NC-17 version and just toned it down a notch, so I hope it wasn't too much at the end. So… will they really get married? You'll find out next week. See you then!


	5. Whisper

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning: **This story contains sexual content and implied drug use. If that bothers you or you are under age, please do not read.

**Bring Me to Life**

Whisper

Harry had never known this feeling, even before the spell took hold of him. As the new day dawned inside their room at the Leaky Cauldron he found that he had not slept a wink all night. Looking down at the still sleeping form of his wife, love greater than he had ever known welled up in his chest, bursting forth like a tidal wave of raw emotion.

His heart filled with excitement at the prospect of a new life free of Voldemort, free of despair, and full of hope. Everything from here on out was going to be different. Life was perfect. The spell was lifted, he was back on track in his career, and he now had a wife – a family of his very own. Ginny Weasley… no, Potter. _Ginny Potter_.

He stared at her sleeping form beside him, mesmerized, trying to memorize every freckle on her face – particularly the light dusting across her petite nose – grateful that he was near-sighted and didn't need his glasses to see every detail this close up. As he ran his fingers through her silky hair that fanned out over the pillow like a beautiful crimson sunset, he tried to count them.

She opened her sleepy eyes and smiled back, causing his chest to do a small leap of joy. "Morning," she said huskily, stretching slightly.

"Good morning, Mrs. Potter," he answered cheerily. He propped up on his elbow and grinned.

She wrinkled her nose. "That sounds strange."

His smile faltered. "You're not… regretting it, are you?"

"No, no," she assured him, smiling shyly as she rolled over. "Not at all! It's just going to take a bit of getting used to is all. I've been a Weasley for eighteen years. Being called something different is just odd – lovely, but odd." She touched his face gently and ran a finger down his jaw line, sending shivers down his spine. "We have a lot to figure out."

He frowned slightly too. "Like what?"

"People have got to be told, we have to face Mum and Dad eventually, then there's Ron and Hermione…" she said, ticking them off on her fingers. "And we have to decide where we're going to live, how we're going to pay for it-"

"I have plenty of money," he interrupted her. "Trust me… that's one thing you definitely _don't_ have to worry about, love."

"Well, I have plans for a career, Harry," she said hesitantly, "and I don't want to give them up. I'm not the type to want to stay home and have babies, you know – not like Mum. Maybe one day, but not until I'm much older."

Harry smiled reassuringly. "I _know_ you had plans before we got together, Ginny, and I want you to go on with them. I'm not ready to be a father yet, either. One day, of course… but not any time soon." He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I want to keep you all to myself for awhile."

She smiled warmly. "Thanks."

"Speaking of your parents and my best friends…" he said with a small frown. "How are we going to break the news to everyone?"

She deflated like a balloon and sunk back into her pillow. "They're going to murder us, aren't they?"

A worried knot began to form in his stomach and he sunk down into his pillow, too, staring at the ceiling. "How angry do you think they'll be?"

"Remember when Mum learned about the twins leaving school without finishing to open their joke shop?" she inquired.

Harry nodded, his eyes wide.

"That will be _nothing_ compared to this news."

"Can't we just… explain, or something?" he asked hopefully. "Surely they'll understand."

Ginny laughed. "What are we going to say, Harry? I mean, _honestly_… I don't think they'd want to hear that you shagged me silly until I had no choice but to agree to marry you."

Harry chuckled along with her. "I can just imagine your Mum's face as we tell her exactly what that tree out back can be used for…"

"She'd be _scandalised_!"

He pulled her close so that she was cradled in the crook of his arm, her chin lying on his chest. It felt very natural and he knew that no matter what happened, he wouldn't regret what they had done. "I don't care what anyone says, Ginny," he whispered, holding on to her tightly. "I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you and everyone else that we made the right decision. I love you."

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile. "I don't think I'll ever grow tired of hearing you say that."

"And I don't think there'll ever come a time when I grow tired of saying it," he said truthfully.

She crawled on top of him and looked down, her eyes full of love. Harry smiled wickedly, loving the new intimacy between them and the feeling of her on top straddling his body between her legs. She seemed to belong there, somehow. Seeing her on top of him, her hair wild and mussed from sleep, combined with the fact that she was only wearing knickers and his shirt – which she had used to sleep in last night – was practically intoxicating. He felt the emotions well up in his chest and revelled in them because it was just another reminder of how much his life had changed in the past few days. He couldn't believe she was his and that they now shared a last name. It was incredible.

Drawn to each other by the magnetism of their gaze, Ginny leaned down and kissed him slowly, seeming to savour every bit of it. Things were just beginning to grow more intense when….

_Tap, tap, tap._

They groaned in unison and broke apart, swivelling around to the window where the noise had originated from. An ordinary barn owl was sitting serenely on the window ledge, a large scrolled parchment in its beak.

"Must be the morning paper," Harry said. Ginny rolled off him in frustration, groaning loudly again as he chuckled. "Don't go anywhere… we're not finished yet," he said cheekily, earning him a pleased smile from the luscious red-head.

He padded over to the window and opened it with some difficulty – it seemed to be stuck. On the other side the owl hopped impatiently and gave an indignant hoot.

"Hang on," he said irritably. "I'm getting it."

Finally the window popped open with a loud _thwack_, and the owl hopped in, dropped the paper, then turned and flew back out again before Harry had time to find his money pouch and pay it.

He shrugged as he picked it up, closing the window behind him. "Complimentary copy of the Daily Prophet… I bet it comes with the room."

"Well, bring it here and come back to bed," Ginny said plaintively. "I'm cold and lonely over here without you."

He made his way back, grabbing his glasses as he went.

"Just let me scan the headlines and make certain there's nothing going on," he said as he settled back into bed. "It'll only take a minute…"

She nodded. "Pass me the Quidditch section."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's the headlines I wanted to check."

Laughing she jerked the paper out of his hands playfully. "Ladies first, Mr. Potter. You can have it when I'm done."

"Is this what married life's all about?" he grumbled good-naturedly. "…being ordered around by my own wife? Having to wait to read the sports section? Don't you want the gossip page instead?" He laughed at her look of horror and taunted her with the offending page, causing her to squeal in outrage, until his eyes focused on the headlines…

"Bloody hell!" he cursed angrily.

Alarmed, Ginny sat up. "What? What is it?"

Showing her the front page, he somehow choked out, "I don't think we have to worry about informing anyone. Something tells me they already know."

On the front page was a large photograph him. It must have been taken after the war because he looked incredibly miserable. His haunted, empty eyes stared back at him in despair, blinking from time to time, while his mouth scowled furiously. Alongside his picture was a photograph of Ginny looking very young and innocent from at least two or three years ago. She waved charmingly and blew the camera a kiss.

"Give me that!" she said furiously, snatching the paper from his hands. As she read the article out loud, however, she became angrier and angrier as she progressed.

_Catch of the Day_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_In a shocking turn of events, this reporter has learned that Harry James Potter, otherwise known as The-Boy-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who, has taken a wife. Late last night young Harry and Miss Virginia Weasley, daughter of Ministry of Magic Official Alfred Weasley, were seen leaving the office of Mr. Orinthaw Landers, a well connected Ministry Official licensed to perform the marriage spell._

_After a little digging, it was discovered that the couple had, in fact, eloped. Why, you may ask? That's what we would all like to know..._

_Miss Weasley, as some may remember, is the sister of Mr. Potter's close friend Mr. Renaldo Weasley. He is also reportedly a major investor in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and has been known to frequent the Weasley home for many years now._

_Yet, strangely, not one Weasley – save the bride herself – was present for the impromptu, clandestine ceremony. Perhaps it has something to do with Potter's long time, live-in girlfriend, Miss Herminny Granger, also absent from the blessed event. So far, Miss Granger has been unavailable for comment. I'm sure the Potter/Weasley union came as a nasty shock to the young witch, knowing what she has lost. Mr. Potter, in addition to being the saviour of the wizarding world, is also quite a catch. As the sole heir of both the Potter and Black family fortunes, his wealth currently rivals the late Lucius Malfoy's. He can be counted among one of the richest wizards in London society, and perhaps even the entire British Isles._

_Congratulations, Mrs. Potter! Whatever you did to attract the attention of such a fine prospect as our beloved Harry Potter must have been a powerful piece of magic, indeed. We wish you well and will be watching your marriage with great interest, especially the 'new births' section, as I am quite certain we will be seeing many new Potters in future. I'm sure this rags-to-riches tale will play out to be very entertaining, indeed, if it lasts._

"Blimey, Harry, she makes me sound like some sort of scarlet woman, implying that I'm after you for your money, enticed you with a love potion, and practically accuses me of being pregnant! And not one of our names is right, save yours! My name is _not_ Virginia, and she knows perfectly well whom Hermione is and _isn't _involved with – and his name certainly isn't Renaldo. I hate that cow," she said disgustedly. "What are we going to do now? Within hours everyone is going to see this rubbish!"

Harry didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe it. How had Rita got hold of this story so fast? He knew it was bound to come out sooner or later, but he didn't think it would be today before they had a chance to tell the family. He threw the paper aside.

"Get dressed," he said, jumping up. "We have to go see your parents."

(Break)

An hour later Harry and Ginny Apparated to the Burrow only to find it swarming with reporters trying to get the full story. He silently kicked himself for not using the Floo, but he usually avoided that form of travel at all costs if he could help it. As it was, he had to put an impenetrable shield around them that shocked anyone who got too close just to get through the throng of people.

He tried to avoid looking at Ginny, who he could tell was torn between anger, fear, and apprehension. She put on a brave front, however, and boldly refused to answer questions, telling several persistent reporters to sod off and get out of their way. This only caused them to clamour for more comments, their enchanted Quick Quotes Quills writing furiously. Not since the defeat of Voldemort had he seen such a mess. What was supposed to be one of the best days of his life was quickly turning into a fiasco.

Once they got through the crowd and to the back door of the Burrow, they then had to convince Molly that it was really them before she would even open up.

"Oh, my goodness, there you both are!" she said scaldingly as she pulled them into the house and safely locked it behind her with a powerful spell. Harry heard her mutter a silencing spell too, just for good measure. "I hope you two have a good explanation for this!" she screeched, brandishing the Daily Prophet article in front of her.

The kitchen was already full of Weasleys, all talking at once. Ron and Hermione were there, as was Fred and George, Bill and Fleur, Charlie, and to Harry's surprise even Percy.

"Now, Molly," Arthur admonished calmly above the din. He was sitting at the head of the table, which was set to feed an army. "Give them some room. Let them catch their breaths first, _then_ we'll get the full story."

Harry looked around the kitchen nervously as it grew unnaturally quiet, holding on to Ginny's hand for support. She gripped his hand back tightly, but it was the only indication he could see from her that she was even nervous. To him, she looked to be the picture of serenity.

"Did anyone think to debug the house?" he asked, only half joking.

Hermione answered for the group. Pulling the curtain open, she pointed, "Our favourite venomous insect is lurking out by that tree. I've done a thorough search of the kitchen and so far everything is secure."

"Good," Harry nodded in relief.

"You lot might as well sit down and eat," Molly said tightly, "while we wait for your sister to fill us in on the details of her life. The food is getting cold." She busied herself with last minute details but Harry suspected she was really too angry to eat.

Harry shuffled to the table along with everyone else. As they all sat down in their usual places he suddenly realised they had a dilemma. Everyone had automatically sat down in "their" chair. The problem was that Ginny usually sat at the opposite side of the table from him. They both stopped, looking at each other and the rest awkwardly.

He cast a helpless look in her direction and was relieved to see an amused glance in return.

"Hehem," she said, clearing her throat noisily. She gave the group at the table a pointed look.

"What?" Ron asked irritably, already beginning to dig into the eggs and bacon.

"If it's not too much trouble, my _husband_ and I would like to sit together."

There was a collective gasp from the table and Harry thought he might jump out of his skin. How could she say it so calmly?

"Tell us you're only trying to wind us up," Bill said as he shifted seats.

"Not so, big brother," Ginny said, holding up her left hand. Harry had transfigured her charm bracelet into a wedding band until they could purchase permanent ones. "You officially have a new brother-in-law." 

"So, it's true then," Hermione said, leaning over to examine the ring.

"Oh, 'ow romantic," Fleur sighed, shooting Bill a sappy look. He seemed caught in her Veela charm for a moment, his eyes glazing over slightly. They made goo-goo eyes at each other for a moment, and Harry was amused to see Fred and George making immature gagging faces when they weren't looking.

It didn't last long, however. Soon all of Ginny's brothers were shooting him murderous looks again, but he refused to be cowed by them; he was more worried about Mrs. Weasley's reaction to this whole affair. By now, she would have been fussing over him, but today she refused to even look in their direction. He had seen her stiffen at Ginny's words, but that was the only indication that she had even heard.

Harry sighed in frustration and shot Ginny an annoyed look. She merely raised her shoulders and shrugged as she sat down.

"It's my fault, really," he said as he sat down too. "I asked Ginny to marry me after we got back from our date, and she said yes. I suppose I was so caught up in the moment and feeling so good that I didn't want to waste another minute apart. If you blame anyone, then blame me. Ginny wanted to wait until all of you could be there."

"Don't take all the blame, Harry," Ginny said, squeezing his hand reassuringly before letting go to fill her plate. "I wanted to do it as much as you did. You certainly didn't force me into anything."

"Could have at least waited a bit," Ron said in a slightly disgruntled voice. "I didn't even know till this morning that the two of you were even seeing each other again. I know you had a good day yesterday mate, but… bloody hell! Did you have to go and get _married_?"

"I agree with Ron," Charlie said disapprovingly from the far end of the table. "Don't you think this was a bit fast?"

"You should talk," Ginny scoffed. "You ran off with that secretary last year."

"But we didn't get married after the first date, did we?" he said jabbing his eggs roughly. "Besides, we all know how _that_ turned out."

George turned to Fred. "Speaking of which, you still owe me a hundred galleons. I told you it wouldn't last a month."

"Whatever happened to Cassandra anyway, Charlie?" Fred asked. "I heard she'd hooked up with Puddlemere's star Beater. Is that true?"

"I wouldn't know," Charlie said tightly. "But seeing as how Professional Quidditch players make a lot more than dragon tamers, I'd say that sounds about right."

"Ouch," Fred and George said in unison.

"Well, I think you're well rid of her," Ron said between mouthfuls. "If she was that interested in your paycheque, then she deserves to be dating a member of that losing team."

Harry and practically everyone else at the table that followed Quidditch rolled their eyes at Ron's comment. Everyone knew what he was alluding to. Ron's team, the Canons, had been making a comeback and had actually managed to beat Puddlemere United once this season – but only because their Seeker had been knocked unconscious by a stray Bludger. They all started in on Ron about the hopelessness of the Canons and how they had only won by a fluke; it didn't take long for Harry to decide that the conversations had drifted too far off topic.

"Well, I know Ginny didn't marry me for my money, no matter what Rita Skeeter implied," Harry said loudly. "Money had nothing to do with it, right Ginny?"

"Not at all," Ginny said, but added with an impish grin, "…although I'm told that you _are_ 'quite a catch' for a girl of my station in life. It was between you and Draco Malfoy, but you're much cuter." She leaned over and ruffled his hair while Harry grimaced.

"So tell us sister, dear…" Fred quipped without missing a beat. "…how _did_ you manage to land the most eligible bachelor in the entire British Isles?"

"Yes, tell us," George jumped in. "…What powerful piece of magic have you used on our young Harry? Inquiring minds want to know."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Please! I've not done anything to Harry that he hasn't wanted."

The entire table grew silent and stared at her as Harry choked on his pumpkin juice at her words.

"Okay, that was entirely too much information," Ron said, avoiding their eyes. His face was flushed scarlet and the rest of the Weasleys were frowning at them.

"Oh, grow up, Ron!" Ginny said scathingly. "Harry and I are both adults – married ones at that. We don't have to answer to anyone."

"Well, seeing as you are still our daughter and a member of this family," Arthur said clearing his throat pointedly. "I do think you have someone to answer to, young lady." He looked over at Harry, a disappointed expression glinting in his eyes. "Both of you."

Harry sighed. "I've already explained what happened, and as much as I want your approval Mr. Weasley, I won't be sorry for what we did. Why not be happy for us?" he pleaded with the group, looking at each in turn.

"It's difficult to be happy for you, Harry," Hermione said gently, "when you didn't give us time to get used to the idea that you're even together again."

"I still say it was a very immature thing to do, running off like you did," Percy said, looking down his nose at Harry. "And you've upset Mum."

"That's rich coming from you, Percy," Ginny mumbled tetchily. "You've certainly done your share of upsetting Mum in the past."

"You know why I did that," he sniffed indignantly. "And I've already apologized."

"Too little, too late," she snorted.

"Now hang on," Percy said loudly.

Harry thought he'd better intervene before Ginny picked a fight with each and every one of her brothers. "Listen… we're sorry we didn't tell you. It caught us as much by surprise as it did you. I want you all to know that you're…" he paused to swallow. "…you're like family to me. The only family I've got, really. I'm sorry if we hurt you but I love Ginny and I'm glad we're married. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to realise what I was missing."

Arthur cleared his throat making them jerk their eyes away from each other. "Yes, about that…" he said with a hint of disapproval that made Harry wince. "The two of you have got to understand our concern. Your relationship went from non-existent to making a huge commitment to each other literally overnight."

Mrs. Weasley finally sat down at the table and made a _'humph'_ noise that Harry took as agreement. She still did not look at them.

"And no offence, son," Arthur said, addressing Harry, "but you've had a rough time of it for a very long time. Molly and I are very glad you've reached a resolution on that score, but we have to wonder if you aren't taking things too fast. You don't even know if this reprieve is permanent."

No one needed to explain what he meant; everyone at the table was aware of what Arthur was talking about. Harry didn't know what to say. Maybe they were right. Maybe they _had_ rushed into something.

"Let me worry about that, Dad," Ginny said from Harry's left. She gave his hand a squeeze. "I think I have a little more insight into this than anyone." Harry couldn't discern what she meant by that; it sounded as if there was something she wasn't telling him.

He was about to ask her when Bill interrupted. "Ginny, what about your plans to go to Auror school? Surely you've given up on that now, haven't you?"

Harry turned around quickly in his seat. He had no idea she was considering Auror training. Before he could open his mouth, however, Ginny was already retorting.

"Harry told me just this morning that my plans don't have to change. I can do whatever I want, isn't that right Harry?" she said indignantly, turning to him for support.

Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't want to make her angry. Certainly, he knew very well he had said that but did he really want his wife to be an Auror? But he couldn't very well say that now, could he? So he settled for the safe thing to say, keeping his voice neutral.

"Yes, we had that conversation this morning."

Ginny turned back to Bill with a smug expression. "See? Harry doesn't mind that I want to be an Auror. _Some_ people respect the fact that I want to do something useful with my life."

"Er…" Harry said apprehensively. "Right." He took a deep breath then said, "But isn't there anything else you'd rather do, Ginny?"

His comment was met with dead silence as everyone at the table stared. He felt Ginny stiffen and instinctively he recoiled.

"Just what are you trying to say, Harry?" she said a little too quietly.

"Nothing! Well…" he stammered, licking his dry lips, "…um… it's just that Auror training _is_ very demanding."

"Demanding?" she said, furrowing her brow. She seemed to want him to go on but everything in Harry's experience screamed at him to shut up.

"Yeah," he said weakly, snapping his mouth shut. Sensing that he was in dangerous territory, he seized on Ron, his best mate for help. "You tell her, Ron."

Ron shook his head soundly. "Nope, you're in this one alone, mate, sorry." His eyes were wide and full of sympathy, but there was a hint of nervousness in the way he was looking at him that set alarm bells dinging in his head.

"No, I really want to hear from _you_, Harry," Ginny said turning to him. This time there was definitely anger in her voice. "You don't think I can handle it, do you?"

"I didn't say that," he said stiffly, beginning to get angry himself. It didn't help that almost everyone at the table was looking at them in amusement. Really, there was nothing remotely funny about it.

"Then what?" she asked sharply. "Is it too difficult, too competitive, or just too dangerous?"

Surprisingly, it was Mrs. Weasley who intervened. "Now Ginny, dear. I'm sure Harry didn't-"

"Harry didn't what, Mum?" she retorted, her voice shrill and loud. Everyone close save Harry backed their chairs away from her as if expecting something bad to happen. "Didn't mean to insult me or didn't mean to tell me what I can and can't do with the rest of my life?"

"Ginny," Harry said, feeling as if he was addressing a child, "you're blowing this out of proportion."

Drawing her wand faster than Harry could blink _or_ defend himself, she cast an engorgement charm on his head, making it swell to twice its normal size.

Harry sat stunned. He didn't hear the twins' laughter, or Hermione's gasp, or Mrs. Weasley's stern, scandalized, "Ginevra!" He couldn't believe she had done it. Ginny had been plenty mad at him before, but she had _never_ hexed him.

"What'd you do that for?" he asked, wincing at his bigger than usual voice. Pointing his wand at his head he spoke the counter curse, feeling immediate relief as his head returned to normal size.

"How many times have I told you children not to use magic at the table?" Mrs. Weasley tutted disapprovingly.

"He deserved it!" Ginny insisted loudly.

"You may be right," her mother agreed, making Harry drop his jaw in surprise, "but drawing your wand is no way to solve your differences, young lady. If I had hexed your father every time he deserved it, I dare say he would have been permanently disfigured by now. You're a married woman, Ginevra, and you need to learn to control that temper of yours and find a more mature way to settle your disagreements."

Ginny scowled but averted her eyes in shame. She still seemed angry when she said, "You're right, of course, Mum," she said, eliciting shocked gasps from her brothers. Looking at her husband, she mumbled somewhat begrudgingly, "I'm sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have hexed you."

"Maybe we could discuss this another time when we're both calmer and have had time to gather our thoughts on the subject," he suggested warily.

She nodded her head curtly.

Looking at her so out of sorts, he couldn't stay angry. Softening his voice, he said tentatively, "For the record, I _do_ think you can handle yourself. Look at how you just handled me."

She twisted her mouth into a wry grin. "Too right, Potter… and you'd do well to remember it in future."

Feeling as if they had reached an impasse, he laughed with her and took the ribbing he got from the rest of the table. Ginny seemed to enjoy the good-natured abuse her new husband was getting, and Mrs. Weasley had stopped scowling and was almost acting normal again. All in all, Harry thought it was worth having his head enlarged if it broke the tension that had enveloped the kitchen from the moment they stepped foot inside.

They spent the rest of the meal discussing the recent events and getting an edited version of how they had gotten together. Mostly the family was curious about the changes Harry had seen in the last few days and how it had all come about. Hermione, in particular, asked many discreet questions and Harry had the feeling he was going to be cornered some time soon on the subject.

Although Mrs. Weasley still seemed distant, her temper had cooled and she was now talking to them again. Harry was grateful. The support of their family almost made him forget the mass of reporters staked out at the door. Unfortunately, he was forcibly reminded of their predicament when one would pop up at the window and try to take their picture. To combat the pesky reporters they decided to put dampening charms on all of the windows in the house so that they could see out but no one could see in. It was during this time that Harry had an opportunity to confront his new mother-in-law.

"Molly," he began tentatively. She was clearing the dishes and he was doing the windows in the kitchen. Everyone else had scattered to charm the windows of the rest of the house and do a sweep to make sure no unwanted intruders had found their way past the wards and charms they had erected. Harry suspected it had been designed by the entire Weasley clan that the two of them were left alone. It was obvious to everyone that Molly Weasley was still upset by all this and they wisely knew she and Harry needed to clear the air.

"Yes, dear?" she answered him curtly as she bewitched the plates to the sink for washing up. Harry winced at her tone and swallowed hard. This might be more difficult than he thought.

"I- I'm sorry – not for what we did, but how much we upset you." She paused but didn't say anything. Clearly, she wasn't going to make this easy for him, so he ploughed on. "Last night you and Arthur gave us your blessing, and in one night I managed to muck it up. You have every right to hate me, and I don't blame you if you did."

Her face paled as it registered surprise, and she left her task and walked over to him, resting her hands on his shoulders and forcing him to look at her.

"How could you possibly think a thing like that, Harry?" she asked. Her voice was a little harsh, he noticed, and a tad disappointed but her eyes were full of love. "After everything we've been through together, do you really think I could hate you that easily?"

"Then… then what's wrong?" he asked, confused. "Why are you avoiding looking at us, and why do you seem so distant?"

She sighed. "It's not important, dear. Just an old woman's fantasy…"

Harry looked perplexed and she laughed.

"I certainly don't expect you to understand these things," she said, patting his cheek. "I have raised six boys, you know." She glanced out the window at her yard full of reporters. "I've always dreamed of helping my daughter plan her wedding and being there when she promised her life to the man she loves," she said softly, a faraway look in her eye. Shaking herself out of it, she smiled and patted his face. "But I never want you to think that I'm disappointed with her choice. If I could have picked anyone for my daughter, I would have chosen _you_, Harry."

A lump had formed in his throat. "I love you too, Mum."

His choice of words was met with shock. He realised then, he had never spoken those words aloud. Certainly they were true and Harry had felt them for a very long time now, but he had never _said_ them. The look on her face was all the reward he needed and he felt a lump form in his throat.

"You know, we talked about this last night… before we eloped," he told her. "We _are_ going to plan a ceremony, and we want the whole family to be there when we say our vows again. But last night… it was just something between the two of us." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "But I do want to marry your daughter, Molly – properly – with your permission. I want the whole world to know how much I love her… how much I need her. And I want to give her – and you – the wedding she deserves."

"What's this about a wedding?" Arthur's voice said pleasantly from behind as he entered the kitchen.

Harry turned to see the majority of the Weasley clan filing into the kitchen, each with varying degrees of guilt written on their faces. It didn't take a genius to figure out they had been listening at the door. Harry searched the group for Ginny. When he found his wife in the assemblage he noticed her eyes were wet as if she had been crying, but she broke out into a happy smile of approval when their eyes met.

Harry crossed over to Ginny and grabbed her hand, then knelt down on one knee. Her face flushed crimson, but he knew her well enough to know she was very pleased.

"Ginny Potter, will you do me the honour of making me the happiest man alive by marrying me all over again, this time in a proper ceremony with all our friends and family present?"

She grinned widely and helped him to his feet. "I will marry you any time, anywhere, you prat! Just tell me where and when to be there."

Harry chuckled, looking around at the rest of the family. "How's next week sound to you? …Out back in the garden?"

"Perfect," she grinned amid her family's nods of approval.

They leaned in and kissed each other soundly amidst good-natured catcalls, murmurs of approval, and congratulatory statements. When he looked up, he noticed the women were openly crying while the men were grinning madly. Percy was the only one who seemed less than happy about the whole situation, but even he did not put forth his usual sour expression. All in all, he thought, it had been a good start to their new life together as a family.

A/N: There you go folks… OBHWF, as it should be, lol! Thanks to Arnel for her speedy work over the holidays, even if there wasn't anything much to do. I certainly appreciate it, regardless. That just meant I could get it out to you faster! I started a new job last Friday, but it shouldn't affect updates on this fic since it is completed. Please remember to leave me a review and let me know what you think. This chapter went through a major rewrite, so I'm curious to see what you thought of it. It was originally written post-OotP, and I felt like the characterizations were a bit off after taking into consideration HBP. I worked hard to make certain neither Harry nor Ginny was OOC as I interpret them. I know they've both been affected by this curse, but hopefully they are still true to canon as far as their personalities go. Let me know if you think I succeeded, and if you think I didn't, please be nice… it may be a stressful week for me! New jobs are never easy, and this one is going to require a lot out of me… it's definitely going to be a challenge. Wish me luck, and happy reading!


	6. All That I'm Living For

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Bring Me to Life**

"All That I'm Living For"

The dawn of the wedding day turned out to be a perfect September morning that promised to be an even more perfect afternoon. Ginny's mum had somehow managed to convince her to remain at home until after the wedding. Neither she nor Harry was exactly happy about this arrangement but they hadn't wanted to argue much. It was enough that she had forgiven them, and they decided they could wait a week to be together again. In a way, she was actually almost glad, even though she missed him terribly. Between the wedding preparations and Harry's training, they had only managed to squeeze in brief moments alone together and they certainly hadn't had time for anything more serious than snogging. The separation, although difficult, certainly was building the anticipation of the wedding night for them both.

The wedding itself was a simple affair with only immediate friends and family invited. The ceremony was to be held outdoors. An arch of flowers that included lilies of all varieties had been created by the best florist in Britain, in honour of Harry's mother. Ginny, herself, had chosen a simple bouquet of fresh Calla Lilies to carry down the aisle. Their only attendants were Ron as the best man and Hermione as the maid of honour.

Ginny's dress robes had been specially made by Madame Malkins for the occasion and she had chosen to wear her Auntie Muriel's tiara fixed with a long veil designed especially to go with her dress. Harry had insisted that she not skimp on the wedding and had added Ginny to his account at Gringotts the first chance he got. He made Ginny promise to spare no expense when it came to the wedding. It was her day to splurge, Harry insisted. Ginny agreed only because this was Harry's day too and she wanted it to be as special for him as it was going to be for her. Besides, she really didn't want to burden her parents financially any more than necessary.

A large opulent tent had been erected in the field behind the Burrow where the boys used to play Quidditch before the war. That was where the reception would take place after the ceremony, catered by the best chefs in the entire Wizarding World. The ceremony itself was to be held in the backyard under the canopy of their special tree, the one they had kissed under the night of her birthday party and where he had asked her to marry him a little over a week ago. The boys and her father had already drawn up rows of white chairs with ribbons and flowers on the backs to accommodate the guests.

Looking out her bedroom window, Ginny thought it the most beautiful she had ever seen the Burrow. Everyone had pulled together for this, determined to make it a special day for her and Harry. It was amazing that it had all come together in a week, but she supposed that was the advantages of having money and magic at their disposal. Being wealthy would take some getting used to – she wasn't marrying Harry for his money no matter what that stupid article had implied.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Ginny, are you in there?" Hermione's muffled voice carried in from behind the closed door.

"Come in, Hermione," she said eagerly. She moved away from the window, tying the sash on her dressing gown tighter.

Hermione entered, looking every inch the definition of perfection. She had tamed her hair with Sleek Easy and it was fixed on top of her head in tiny pin curls with sparkly faux diamonds scattered all over the updo. Her dress robes were raw silk, dyed the most beautiful shade of pale blue. They hugged her body in all the right places, making her look more sophisticated than Ginny could ever remember seeing her best friend. The sight of it made Ginny want to cry – there was no way she could ever look as beautiful as Hermione.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked worriedly, checking herself over with her hands. "Did I do a horrible job on my hair? You know, it's murder to fix just right-"

"You look beautiful," Ginny assured her with a watery smile, fighting to hold back the tears. "That's the problem… I'm ugly compared to you." She began crying irrationally as Hermione hugged her.

Her mother opened the door just then. "Ginny dear, the baker is here with the cake and we were wondering… _oh_," she said in surprise as she caught sight of her daughter's teary face. Hermione motioned to Mrs. Weasley that she would handle it, and she backed out of the room awkwardly. "Never mind, I'll take care of it, dear. You and Hermione just have a nice chat, alright?" Ginny didn't miss the amused smile on her face as she closed the door quietly behind her.

"What's this all about," Hermione asked soothingly in her best big sister voice. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"I don't deserve him," she cried, flinging herself down on the bed miserably. "I'm plain and ugly, I don't have any money or a job, and-"

"-and Harry loves you," Hermione said.

Ginny stopped crying. "Are you certain?" she asked, sniffling. She knew she sounded very much like a small child, but she couldn't help it. She felt all out of sorts today.

"Of course I'm certain." Hermione sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. "He's happier than I've ever seen him – I even caught him whistling yesterday after you left. His biggest dilemma this week seems to be at night. I hear him pacing the floor at all hours, but as soon as he sees you he just lights up, Ginny. I think he's had problems sleeping because he wants so badly to be with you."

"I haven't been sleeping well at all, either," Ginny admitted. "I've told myself that it's just wedding jitters, but really it's because I miss him so much. Nighttimes are the worst, Hermione. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the night we eloped."

Hermione looked troubled for a second, then smiled. "I suppose that's natural. The two of you just got married and then your family forced you apart. It would be enough to drive any couple insane." She handed Ginny a tissue. "Now how about we get you ready to walk down that aisle?"

Ginny stood reluctantly and made her way in front of the mirror. "I look a fright," she said with an unhappy frown.

"Well, you've certainly looked better," the mirror agreed.

"Thanks," Ginny said dryly.

"Nonsense," Hermione declared. "You'll be the most beautiful bride ever… just you wait." She began gathering up makeup, potion bottles, brushes and combs, organizing them on the dressing table.

"Humph," Ginny sniffed, noting the dark circles under her eyes and the pinched expression on her face. "Harry will probably take one look at me and run away screaming."

Hermione laughed. "I think you underestimate him, Ginny. He's already married you once and this wedding is all he's talked about all week. Technically, this is just a formality."

"You're right, of course…" Ginny said uncertainly.

"Trust me," Hermione said, smiling. "You're going to knock him flat when he sees you today. Leave it to me. I didn't room with Lavender and Parvati all those years without picking up a thing or two about beauty charms."

An hour later Ginny stood in front of the same full length mirror gaping stupidly. Even the mirror was impressed with the results. Hermione had worked a miracle – Ginny barely recognized herself. Her face was flawless with hardly a freckle in sight and her hair was the shiniest she had ever seen it. It was piled on top of her head in a fashionable updo, Auntie Muriel's tiara pinned securely around it. The long veil flowed down her back, spilling over the train of her wedding robes.

The robes themselves had turned out more beautiful than she could have imagined. They were elegant and simple – snow white with a small embellishment of crystal beadwork imported directly from Austria just for her dress. The silk material was cut just right for her frame, emphasizing her flat stomach, long, slender neck, and slim figure, making her appear taller than she was and older, too. Hermione had loaned her a pearl necklace and earring set that completed the look, and when she was dressed she felt like a sophisticated, beautiful, elegant princess after all – despite her initial mood.

Hermione sighed. "You look gorgeous. Harry won't know what hit him."

Her mother came in just then, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw her daughter. She looked gobsmacked.

"How do I look, Mum?" she asked hopefully.

Her mum looked like she was about to cry. She dabbed at her teary eyes with lace hanky that matched her new dress robes and smiled sadly. "You're all grown up," she sniffed.

Ginny felt tears welling up in her eyes again but tried to fight them. Hermione had worked too hard on her makeup to ruin it with a good cry. But Hermione too was also fighting tears of joy as she watched the emotional exchange between mother and daughter.

Her mum walked over to her and grasped her by the hands. "I have never seen a more beautiful bride," she said proudly.

Ginny smiled. "Thanks Mum. Do you think Harry will approve?"

"He'd be a fool not to," she answered with a shrewd smile.

"Is he here yet?" Ginny asked eagerly. "Have you seen him?"

"Yes, dear," her mum answered. "He's with the boys changing into dress robes. I had to give the twins a stern talking to a few minutes ago – they were going to charm his cummerbund to play the wedding tune as you marched down the aisle. I told them if they even think about pulling a childish prank today they would have me, you, _and_ Harry to deal with." She patted Ginny's hand reassuringly. "Don't you worry, dear. They promised they would behave themselves." She winked. "I made them take an unbreakable vow."

Hermione gasped. "You didn't!"

"Well, of course I didn't. But they don't know that, do they?"

They were still laughing when Ginny's dad walked into the room. "Molly, dear. The caterer would like to have a word with you. It seems there's a problem with the cherub centrepieces. They are shooting arrows at people as they pass by and… _oh my_," he said, seeing Ginny for the first time. His jaw dropped and he stared, flabbergasted. "Ginny, darling, you look beautiful!"

"Thanks, dad," she said, smiling. "Are you ready to walk down the aisle with me?"

"Well… er," his face reddened. "_Oh, my_!"

Hermione and Mrs. Weasley exchanged secret smiles but Ginny couldn't take her eyes off her dad. He was also dressed in new robes, looking more dapper than she could ever remember seeing him. When Bill had married Fleur he had cleaned up and worn his best robes, but her mother had insisted he buy new ones for Ginny's wedding since the old ones were getting a little tight around the middle and magic was not enough to make them fit anymore. The new dress robes matched the wedding party's – all of Ginny's brothers were involved in the wedding as ushers, responsible for seating guests. Her father looked quite handsome in his new attire, and she told him so.

He blushed and seemed to recover his speech. "I never thought I'd see the day when I walked my little girl down the aisle. It seems like just yesterday you were breaking into the broom shed to take your brothers' brooms out for a spin."

Ginny gasped in surprise. "You knew about that?"

"Well, of course we did," her mother declared. "Who do you think distracted your brothers long enough to let you get by with it?"

"And here I thought I was being so sneaky," Ginny chuckled.

"You were such a tiny little thing," her father reminisced. "Your mother wanted to stop you from doing it at first, but the moment you got on that broom and took off I knew you'd be alright. I'll never forget the look of pure joy on your face that first day."

"You scared the dickens out of me, young lady," her mother laughed. "All those loop'd loops and backwards rolls!" Her face softened. "Then you came down and quietly put the broom back, your face all rosy and your eyes gleaming. I haven't seen that look on your face again until…" She sighed deeply as her voice trailed off.

"Until when, Mum?" Ginny asked curiously.

Her mother sniffled. "Until the night Harry picked you up for your first date, that night in the kitchen. When you walked through the doorway and caught sight of that boy, I just _knew_."

"We both knew," her father added. "He's a good lad, Ginny. I'm very proud of you both."

The tears were threatening to come again and Ginny swallowed hard to keep them down. She really didn't want to ruin her face by bawling her eyes out.

Hermione must have noticed because she poked Ginny in the ribs. "It's perfectly okay to cry, you know. The makeup is charmed to be waterproof. I tucked the remover potion in your overnight case. It's the only thing that takes it off."

That's all it took for her to let loose the tears again. They slid freely down her face as she hugged her mum and dad tightly.

Soon it was time to leave her little bedroom and make her way downstairs towards the garden. Hermione helped her with her train so she didn't trip on it coming down the stairs. She was thankful for her heelless slippers because they made it much easier to manoeuvre the winding and crooked staircase; it was ironic considering she had only been thinking of the soft soil in the garden when she had bought them.

The bright afternoon sun was wafting in from the kitchen windows as she and Hermione approached. Her father was waiting for them in the entranceway. Outside she could see the tops of people's heads as they waited for the bridal party to draw near. Her brothers had finished seating the last of the guests and now were lined up at the back until they were needed again after the ceremony. The soft music of the string quartet came drifting over the crowd and through the closed door of the kitchen, setting the butterflies loose in her stomach.

What if Harry had changed his mind? What if he hated the way she looked? What if-

"Ginevra," her father said gently, taking her arm. "It's time." He seemed as if he was barely holding it together himself and Ginny took his arm, smiling at him in reassurance. He smiled back but Ginny knew he was a jumble of emotions, just like her.

Hermione handed her the small bouquet of Calla Lilies tied up with a white ribbon and then picked up her own small arrangement. Somebody threw open the door and suddenly the music was louder, the sunlight brighter. Hermione walked through and down the aisle first allowing Ginny time to gather her composure and let her eyes adjust to the change in lighting before stepping out herself on her father's arm.

And there he was, standing at the end of the aisle, his face even more gobsmacked than her father's had been. He hadn't changed his mind and, unless she was mistaken, he _really_ liked what he was seeing. His eyes danced and he broke out in a soft, pleased smile that was pure Harry. Her heart melted at the sight of him dressed to kill in his new robes.

They never took their eyes off each other the entire time Ginny was making her way down the centre of the rows of chairs. She didn't notice the people standing in her honour, smiling and whispering to each other, or the camera Colin Creevey was clicking from the sidelines. All she could see was Harry, staring at her like she was the most stunning creature on earth – and for that one moment, Ginny truly felt like she was the luckiest woman in the universe.

She couldn't believe this day had finally come; it was surreal, and she was glad that she was holding on to her father for support, otherwise she might have stumbled. All doubt was gone – a distant memory. Dark thoughts did not belong here on this day and they were banished from her mind, along with all her anxiety and worry.

The walk down the aisle seemed to take a lifetime but soon she was there standing in the front of the garden, trying not to get lost in his smiling, wide green eyes. Then the vicar cleared his throat and began the ceremony, talking about love, friendship, tribulations, and commitment. Harry dragged his eyes away from her reluctantly to listen politely, giving her a chance to observe the rest of him.

He was dressed in formal emerald green dress robes made especially for him by Monsieur Malkin's Dress Robes for Men, a new division of Madam Malkin's growing business. The robes fit him impeccably well, unlike so many of his regular clothes. Harry had never found the trick to buying clothes that actually fit, a throwback from years of wearing Dudley's cast-offs. He also never mastered the knack of getting his hair to lie flat and today it was just as wind-blown and messy as always. Looking at his serious profile out of the corner of her eye, she thought he was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the vicar asked, breaking Ginny out of her trance.

"Her mother and I do," her father stated firmly.

"So let it be," the vicar said, nodding for Harry to step forward. Her father patted their hands in a private blessing as he put hers into Harry's, visibly choking up with emotion. Red-faced, he made his way back to his wife who was openly crying, dotting her eyes with her handkerchief. On the other side of the aisle Remus Lupin sat with his wife Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin. They were occupying the seats usually taken by the groom's parents, both sporting wide, watery smiles.

They said their vows to each other as if in a dream world; no one else existed but them. Ginny barely took notice of Hermione as she handed her Harry's ring, or of Ron as he handed Harry her ring. But she thought carefully about every word she spoke… meant them with her whole heart. She heard every word Harry said to her… felt Harry's soft hands as he slid the cool metal cleanly onto her left ring finger.

They joined hands and the vicar drew his wand, performing a binding spell over their joined left hands. Ginny watched in fascination as the ribbons of energy wrapped around their hands, sealing the bond they were making. It was even more thrilling than the first time they had done this, mostly because of the whoops and yells of the crowd led by four of her brothers at the back of the rows of chairs. Percy was the only one of them maintaining any self control. The others were shouting at them to hurry up and snog each other.

Harry stepped forward and gently pulled her towards him for a very thorough kiss, causing the crowd to erupt in resounding cat-calls, whistles, and applause. They turned to face their friends and family, officially a married couple in both the eyes of the law and in the eyes of the entire Weasley family. No one, least of all them, could stop smiling.

(break)

The reception area was packed by the time they made their way through the receiving line and took some pictures together under the archway with the wedding party. Harry had stayed beside her the whole time and introduced her to his friends and co-workers from the Ministry who had been invited to the wedding. All of their friends from Hogwarts had come, as well as Ginny's extended family – most of whom Harry had only met once before at Bill's wedding. He smiled warmly at them all and blushed profusely when ancient Auntie Muriel gave him a big, fat kiss on the cheek, declaring him the finest catch in all of the British Isles.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am," Harry had said politely, glancing towards Ginny. "But I think you're mistaken. I'm certain that I've caught the finest witch in all of the British Isles… present company excepted, of course." He bowed gallantly, making her old auntie almost swoon. Luckily, Fred and George had been assigned as her minders, and they caught her arms before she fell.

Their entry into the tent was treated with the greatest fanfare, and they were immediately whisked away to the table of honour where Ron and Hermione were already seated.

Ron eyed the cherub in the centre of the table warily. "Watch out," he warned them. "Bill had to use a stunner on that one earlier today. He's a mean little buggar. Shot Bill in the buttocks with his arrow," he said, pointing to the pointed heart sticking out of the creature's bow. The round little cherub seemed to grumble silently, but otherwise didn't make a move. "Fleur didn't seem to mind much, though. He went more gaga than usual over her."

"Whose idea was it to have cherubs as centrepieces, anyway?" Ginny said, mystified. "I don't remember doing that."

Hermione looked embarrassed. "They needed the work," she said, blushing. "I had no idea they could be so… violent."

"Well, they do make a beautiful table," Ginny said. "Painting them gold was a nice touch."

Hermione beamed and promptly changed the subject.

"You've never told us, you two," she said with a sly smile. "Where are you spending your honeymoon?"

Harry smiled secretly. "That's for me to know, isn't it? Nice try, Ginny… it won't work."

"Darn it, Harry!" Ginny cried out in frustration, stamping her foot under the table. "Why won't you tell me? You said you would after the wedding," she pouted.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I love it when you pout, it's very sexy. I haven't told you yet just how delicious you look in those robes, have I?"

She smiled wickedly and leaned in close. "Just you wait, Potter. I have some surprises of my own planned tonight."

His face flushed and she kissed his cheek.

"I don't even want to know what they're saying to each other," Ron muttered grouchily to Hermione.

"Probably not," Hermione agreed. Then she leaned over and whispered something in Ron's ear which had him turning pink and loosening his collar.

"Call it payback for all of the times I've had to suffer through it," Harry said, laughing.

Suddenly, their table came to life and plates of food appeared covered with silver warmers. Bottles of champagne and crystal goblets also materialized.

"Thank goodness," Ron said getting ready to dig in. "I'm starving."

"Not yet, Ron," Hermione hissed quietly, stopping him. "You have to give the toast first."

"Toast!" Ron croaked. "No one told me that."

"It's _tradition_," Hermione whispered. "And no one can eat until it's done."

Ginny was very aware that everyone was looking at their table expectantly and she helped Hermione shame Ron into standing up. He looked like he'd rather be waltzing with Hagrid than have to give a speech, but he slid out of his chair and seemed to gather his Gryffindor courage. Harry caught her eye and grinned – he obviously thought it was very funny.

"Well… I, um," Ron began awkwardly, but no one could hear him.

"For heaven's sake, Ron," Hermione said loudly. "Do a Sonorous Charm!"

"Yeah… right." He pointed his wand at his throat and said, "_Sonorous!_"

"That's better," he said more loudly. Ginny was surprised to hear the confidence return to her brother's voice. "Welcome, everyone… thank you for joining us on this special day. As you probably already know, I'm Ron Weasley, Ginny's brother and Harry's best mate. Today we are here to honour my sister and best friend, Mr. and Mrs. Potter." He paused as people, whooped and whistled. Ron smiled and waited for the noise to die down. When it did, he continued.

Ron turned to Harry, emotion pulling at his face. "Harry, we've been best friends since that first train ride to Hogwarts, and I'm not sure if I've ever told you or not but sitting in that compartment that day was the best decision I've ever made next to finally getting the courage to ask Hermione out... properly. We've all been through a lot together – much more than anyone but us three knows about – and I've never once regretted being your friend and standing by you through everything Voldemort threw at you. Most people in this room know Harry, but very few can say they have seen the sacrifices that this man has made for the sake of others. Now it's time for him to allow himself some happiness, and bloody hell I'm glad he's come around! Harry, I'm honoured to call you my brother."

Ron turned to Ginny next. "Ginny, I am so proud of you," he said in a choked voice. "If I could pick any witch on the planet to be my sister, I'd choose _you_ hands down. You're one of the bravest, most headstrong people I've ever met next to Harry and Hermione. Once you make up your mind about something, you never back down. From the first time you laid eyes on Harry at the age of ten, you decided that he was the one and despite the obstacles this prat put in your way, you never gave up. I wish I had even an ounce of your tenacity." He grinned slyly at Harry. "But, at the same time mate, I'm glad it's you, and not me, who has to live with her."

The assembled group laughed gaily along with Harry and Ginny, who were now teary eyed and beaming from Ron's speech.

"Ginny and I stuck together growing up," he continued. "Thanks to Fred and George, we had to get used to watching each other's backs in order to survive childhood."

The crowd laughed again as Fred yelled back in a good-natured, threatening voice, "Oi! And you'd better watch your back, Ronnikens, when this speech is over if you're not careful!"

Ron didn't seem phased by the threat at all. "That's not a problem," he said seriously to Fred and the others after the laughter had subsided. "You see, I not only have my beautiful, intelligent fiancé watching my back… I also have my sister, the best hexer in the whole Wizarding World, and my new _brother_, Harry, behind me, too – exactly where he's always been for a very long time now."

"Aye, aye!" a chorus of Weasley men exclaimed from various parts of the room, including Fred and George.

"Let's get to the drinking!" George shouted impatiently, raising his glass, as everyone laughed.

Ron complied by raising his glass too, and everyone in the room did the same save the bride and groom.

"Here's to the most deserving couple I know," he said earnestly. "I wish you a lifetime of health and happiness together. Cheers!"

The entire tent echoed Ron's sentiments and there was a moment of silence in which the only sounds came from the clinking glasses and the sounds of people drinking.

Harry and Ginny smiled and nodded their thanks, and Ginny even got up and kissed Ron's cheek.

"Now for the highlight of the evening, at least for me," Ron announced. "Let's eat!"

The room erupted in loud agreement and merriment as the music started up again. Everyone tapped the lids on their plates with their wand and made the silver covering vanish, revealing the exquisitely prepared food underneath.

"That was a fantastic speech Ron," Harry told him with a grin when he had cancelled the _Sonorous _Charm and sat back down. "Thanks, mate."

Ron shrugged modestly, shooting Hermione a half disgruntled, half self-satisfied look. "It could have been better if I'd had time to prepare."

"I didn't say anything because I knew you'd stress out about it," Hermione told him, primly cutting her meat into tiny pieces. Ginny noticed that Ron didn't bother… he just picked up the entire piece with his fork and bit into it. "But you did a brilliant job anyway… just like I knew you would."

"It was very sweet," Ginny agreed, grinning. "Thanks, big brother."

Ron took a large swallow of champagne. "You're welcome," he said casually.

Ginny was once again struck by how much he had matured over the last few years. The old Ron would have been arguing with Hermione over her not telling him about the speech, or gloating needlessly. But Ron had done neither, and he had handled himself with grace… something she never would have imagined out of him when they were kids. He had definitely grown up.

Harry took Ginny's hand and squeezed it. "Can you believe we're finally married?"

"Harry," she said patiently. "We've been married for over a week now."

"I know, but it finally seems real." He looked deeply into her eyes. "I've never been happier, Ginny."

She melted once again. "Me either," she said sappily.

"Will you two stop?" Ron complained from across the table. "I'm trying to eat over here."

He let out a loud '_ooaf_' as Hermione deftly kicked him under the table. "They're allowed to be as sappy as they want today," she announced. "This is their day, Ron."

Harry took a bite of his steak and brandished the fork in Ron's direction after he chewed and swallowed. "You can be sappy on your big day too, mate."

"Just start working on the bloody toast now," Ron mumbled. "You know she'll make you do one, too."

"You got it," Harry said, his eyes gleaming. Ginny knew that at one time in Harry's life, like Ron, giving a public speech would have been an ordeal worse than death. But nowadays she supposed it wasn't that big a deal to him, and he had matured, too.

They finished their meal in companionable silence. As they took the last bite, the music began playing and in the middle of the floor a gigantic cake appeared out of nowhere.

"Time to cut the cake," Hermione said, beaming. "Off you go, you two," she said, shooing them up.

Harry turned to whisper in Ginny's ear as they obediently complied. "Who made her boss of this wedding, anyway? I thought it was _our_ day."

Ginny leaned in and whispered back, "That would be me," she admitted guiltily. "Between her and Mum, I got so tired of being told what to do I finally just threw up my hands and let them have their way. I don't really care about any of this… as far as I'm concerned our real wedding was a week ago. I would have been happy to forego all this hoopla."

"Really?" Harry said quietly, plainly surprised as they stopped in front of the humongous wedding cake. "Do you really feel that way?"

Ginny met his questioning gaze steadily, still keeping her voice low. "I really do," she confirmed. "This wedding was nice, Harry, but I'd give it all up in a heartbeat just to be alone with you right now."

Ginny saw the look that came into his eyes just then, and she knew exactly what he was thinking because she was having similar thoughts. The familiar flush to his cheeks and that piercing gaze was unmistakable; Ginny was certain if they hadn't been the centre of attention they would have been finding a more private place to finish this conversation.

Together, they awkwardly cut the cake for their guests, and then fed each other a bite. Ginny shivered when her fingers slipped into Harry's mouth and paused there, as if they had a will of their own. The room full of people blissfully disappeared and, at that moment, they were the only ones who mattered in the world. He smiled evilly as he returned the favour, obviously seeing the effect he was having on her.

The music started up again and the cake was turned over to Fleur and Mrs. Weasley, who took charge of dispersing the rest of it to the guests. She and Harry set their plates down and Harry bowed to her and asked for a dance.

Ginny wasn't sure when Harry had learned to waltz like this… Hermione had once told her that he was unteachable when it came to the art of dancing. But today his step was flawless as he expertly led her over the dance floor, her white dress robes billowing around her with a graceful sweep. She had never felt so grown up and desirable as she did today. It was absolutely perfect.

They danced by themselves first and then her father broke in and asked for his daughter's hand. Harry willingly turned her over, but to their surprise returned immediately with her flustered but extremely pleased mum. They danced another round until they were joined by Ron and Hermione as well as other couples, then her parents paired up and they had time to sneak off and get a drink from the bar. It was then that Ginny caught sight of the ostentatious ice sculpture of a majestic stag standing side-by-side with a big, shaggy dog.

"Nice," she commented. "Did Fred and George do that?"

"Actually, no," Harry said, admiring the large sculpture. Appropriately, the brim of the container was full of lager and beer of all kinds. "Moony made it. I asked him what would be a fitting tribute to my dad and Sirius, and he came up with this. Do you think it's too much?"

"Not at all," Ginny said, grabbing one of the bottles.

"Ginny!" Harry said, eyeing the bottle of lager in her hand worriedly. "Have you ever had one of those?"

She raised an eyebrow, wondering whether to tell him about the numerous times Fred and George had decided to take her out and cheer her up. She definitely was not a virgin when it came to beer – or anything else now for that matter, thanks to Harry. Instead she asked, "Have you?"

Harry flushed and reached for one too. "Of course," he said, still shooting her nervous glances.

"Then I suppose neither of us is that innocent, huh?" she retorted, popping the cap expertly and taking a long swig. It felt really good on her parched throat.

Harry laughed and popped his own lid, clinking his bottle to hers noisily. "Cheers, Mrs. Potter," he said, grinning. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, even if it takes me a lifetime."

"Cheers, Harry," she agreed, a self-satisfied expression on her face. "I promise… it won't be boring."

He grinned approvingly.

When the reception finally started winding down and the majority of the guests had left, Harry whispered in her ear that it was time to go.

"How are we getting there?" she asked, curiously.

He opened his jacket pocket and held out a small box for her. "Open it," he said mysteriously.

She did. Inside was a small gold key. "What's this?" she asked curiously.

"It's a key, obviously," Harry grinned. "I made it into a Portkey to take us to the place where we're going to spend the rest of the week. As soon as we can manage it, I'll take you on a proper honeymoon… a much longer one."

"I thought we had agreed that we couldn't afford to take time off right now because of training," Ginny said. "I can't be gone longer than a day, Harry. Monday is my orientation, and you start a new block of training next week on detection spells."

"We can do both, Ginny," Harry said, still smiling wickedly. "I want you to feel like a princess, and this was as close as I could get without leaving London. We can still Apparate to ACT every day, attend our classes and perform our duties, and then we have the rest of the night to ourselves. You're lessons are during the day, and I'm in a phase of training that doesn't require nights or evenings… so it's perfect." He nodded towards Ron and Hermione, still dancing. "Besides, Hermione leaves soon and I think they'd appreciate some time alone, too."

"They're not the only ones," she said smiling, hoping to convey her wicked thoughts through her expression. The way he flushed, she was pretty sure she had succeeded. "What are you waiting for then, Potter?" she said in a low, throaty voice. "I think it's high time we ditched this party."

He leaned in and kissed her soundly, taking her breath away. "I'll get the bags and meet you back here in five minutes. Then you're all mine."

Her smile froze on her face but he had already turned around so he hadn't noticed. But she shook them off determinedly – nothing would spoil this day. Absolutely nothing.

A/N: One more chapter to go! I almost lost the four chapters of the sequel I had written when my computer crashed this weekend, but good news… I managed to recover them before it crashed again. I did lose one chapter of the new story I'll be publishing after this one, but it could have been much, much worse. However, it's time for a new laptop, I think. Until next week! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	7. Imaginary

**Disclaimer:** The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Chapter titles and lyrics are the property of Evanescence.

No profit is being made off this story. It is for entertainment purposes only.

**Bring Me to Life**

"Imaginary"

The Portkey took them to the doorway of a private suite in the most luxurious hotel Ginny had ever seen.

"Where are we?" she asked Harry, looking around in wonder at the opulence of the corridor. Gilt framed mirrors adorned the walls which were covered in rich wallpaper. Expensive Persian rugs adorned the floors and priceless vases held bouquets of fresh flowers on marble topped stands.

"This is a famous Muggle hotel in London called the Lanesborough St. Regis. I've booked the Royal Honeymoon Suite," he said, his eyes sparkling.

"If it's a Muggle hotel won't it be difficult to Apparate in and out every day?" she asked. "I mean, it would be a bit suspicious if we appear to never leave our room."

Harry shrugged. "We are honeymooners, after all. That's a bit natural, I suspect. Besides, the hotel has lots of amenities that we can make use of and we can also explore some of the more touristy Muggle areas by hired car, so we'll be seen plenty. But they understand about our world here and have accommodated us by providing a measure of privacy and discreetness. We're the only ones on this floor, so it's okay to Apparate in and out from the corridor. I warded the rooms myself so that no one can bother us once we're inside unless we call. Instead of a butler we have a House Elf to care for our needs, and you know how discreet they are. We'll never have to see anybody unless we need something. Want to see inside?"

Ginny nodded eagerly. "Yes, please."

Harry opened the door and she made to walk through it but Harry stopped her. "Wait, I want to do this properly." He swung her up in his arms easily and carried her through the threshold of the doorway.

Ginny giggled, squirming a bit in his arms. "Harry! What are you doing?"

"It's a Muggle custom for the groom to carry his bride over the threshold on their wedding night," he explained.

"Why?"

Harry looked confused as he set her on her feet. "I'm not certain. Maybe it's supposed to be for good fortune, I don't know. All I know is that I've seen it done loads of times in the sappy movies Aunt Petunia liked to watch during the day when Uncle Vernon was at work. It must be romantic because she'd always have a box of tissues handy and would usually bawl her eyes out."

"You can be positively silly at times, do you know that?" she said, her voice full of good-natured mirth.

"No one has ever accused me of that," he said honestly. "Is that why you love me – for my silliness?" he asked, his eyes smiling.

She kissed him soundly on the lips. "Only one of a thousand reasons."

"Well, I can think of at least a hundred thousand reasons why I love you," he said, kissing her back. The casual banter and chaste kisses soon progressed into a bit more, leaving them breathless and anxious to shed their heavy dress robes.

Harry pulled away from her, his eyes dark with need. "I hate to ruin the moment, but we _are_ still standing in the entranceway. Wouldn't you like to see the rest of the suite?"

She nodded mutely, still caught up in the moment. "But quickly," she said. "There's only one room I'm interested in, really."

Harry's face flushed and he took her hand possessively, leading her around the spacious suite. There was an elegant sitting room with an adjacent dining area and fully stocked kitchen. On the table was a large bowl of delicious looking fresh fruit, a bottle of champagne on ice, two champagne glasses of fine crystal, and an assortment of tempting confectionaries. Harry showed her the concealed entertainment centre and they spent a moment flipping through some of the channels, including the movie selections. Ginny was used to seeing animated photos but was delighted that these actually included sound. She'd heard about television, of course, but hadn't ever actually watched it before and found herself fascinated.

The bathroom reminded her a bit of the prefect's bathroom at Hogwarts. Not being a prefect herself, she'd only been in it once with Hermione, and this was a sort of smaller version. The tub had jets in it which would be relaxing after a long day of training, and it was big enough for at least a half dozen people let alone just the two of them. There was a large marble double sink with a dressing area and a shower stall along with a small room that housed the toilet.

"Nice," she commented approvingly. "What's that door over there lead to?"

"That's the bedroom," Harry said uncomfortably.

Ginny blushed, knowing she should have deduced that. "Right."

"Want to see?" Harry asked. "Or would you rather have a sip of champagne and relax a bit first?"

"I'd like to see now, if you don't mind," she said, very curious to know where they'd be spending the majority of their evenings.

Harry led her through the bathroom and into the most beautiful bedroom she had ever seen. It was perfect in every way from the large bed and deep red duvet to the beautiful flowers on the dresser. Taking a peek inside the mahogany drawers revealed their clothes, carefully laid out to avoid wrinkles. Their Auror robes hung side by side in the cupboard along with some new Muggle clothes Ginny had never seen before.

"I hope you don't mind that I asked Hermione to pick out some things for you," Harry said hesitantly. "I figured that you might need some new things for when we go out into Muggle London or down to the dining area or other areas of the hotel in the evenings."

Ginny fingered the elegant materials of the dresses, blouses, and other clothes in wonder feeling like a princess. A row of new matching shoes lined the bottom of the closet. Hermione had excellent taste and, although Ginny might not have picked these outfits out specifically, she was pleased with the choices.

"If you don't like them we can pick out others when we go out," Harry said worriedly.

"No," Ginny said quickly, silently adding thoughtfulness to the list of things she loved about him. "They're lovely, Harry. Thank you."

He looked endearingly relieved. "I just thought it would be better if we blended in. Drawing attention to ourselves is the last thing we want when we're trying to relax."

"I agree," she said, looking at him uncertainly. A kind of awkwardness had emerged between them that had nothing to do with the clothes or surroundings. Ginny could feel the nervousness and tension in the room. She didn't know what to do next… this was all so new. The last time they had been alone together they had been in the familiar surroundings of the Leaky Cauldron, and they had both been so tired then that sleep had been priority. Now they stood here in this beautiful bedroom dressed in their wedding garb, knowing that they were married. Neither of them seemed to know what to do.

"How about we change into something more comfortable?" Harry suggested nervously. "I'll grab the champagne and glasses from the other room."

"That sounds great," Ginny said, relieved that they had a plan. When he left the room she rummaged through the drawers quickly until she found the silky lace nightgown she had splurged on at Belinda's Boudoir, a new lingerie store next to Madame Malkin's, 'for all the lingerie needs of the modern witch'. She moved back to the bathroom, locking both doors for privacy.

She wasn't certain why she was so nervous – it wasn't as if they had never done this before, after all, and she was more than willing to do it again. But before, their lovemaking had always arisen from passion and emotion. This seemed more formal and planned – different from their other unions.

The dress robes were shed and she chose to wear nothing under the nightgown, removing the tiara but leaving her hair pinned up so that her neck was exposed. As she readied herself she looked in the mirror, knowing that it wouldn't talk back to her but wishing it had some advice. Did she look sophisticated enough? Would her appearance please Harry? He had never seen her like this before. Would he like it or would he prefer her in something more revealing? The choice had seemed right when she bought it but now she wasn't sure.

Knowing that she was stalling for time, Ginny tentatively opened the door. Harry had taken off his dress robes and unbuttoned his white shirt at the collar and sleeves, rolling them up a few turns, and he had removed his shoes and socks so that he was barefoot like Ginny. He had also turned down the bed, dimmed the lights and lit some candles. Their glow filled the room with warmth that the hotel lamps could never have. From somewhere in the other room soft music drifted in, wafting lazily through the air, creating the perfect ambiance. At the moment he had his back to her fussing with the bottle of champagne, trying to figure out how to open it.

"Just use your wand," Ginny advised.

He turned to her and she knew she'd remember the look on his face from now until eternity. His jaw dropped at the sight of her standing in the half-lit threshold of the doorway bathed in light from behind, and his face clouded with want. He set the bottle on the table heavily.

"You… you're beautiful," he said in a husky voice.

She moved closer to him, her shyness forgotten.

Picking up her wand from the table, she tapped the top of the bottle. "_Abscindo_." The cork flew out, spilling its contents over the table.

"Sorry," she said, giggling, as she picked up a glass and caught the liquid he tipped into it. When he had filled his glass also he set the bottle back in the bucket of ice to keep it chilled for later.

"To legitimate married life," she said, holding up her glass for a toast.

"To happiness," Harry said, touching his glass against hers gently so that they made a pleasing _clinking_ sound. They drank from their glasses, never taking their eyes from each other. Harry set his glass down first and then reached over and took hers from her hand.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

She meant to say no, but then her eyes fell on the red, ripe strawberries dipped in chocolate lying on a platter next to the champagne and her eyes lit up.

"Yes," she admitted.

Harry smiled and reached for one but instead of handing it to her he teased her with it, letting it hover just outside her mouth so that she could smell the combination of fruit and chocolate.

"Open your mouth," he instructed.

Obediently, she complied, loving the sensations of pleasure she was getting from this exchange. He moved the plump strawberry closer so that she could taste the chocolate on her lips and tongue.

"Take a bite," he whispered, moving in closer so that she could feel the roughness of his starched shirt next to the delicate softness of her silk nightgown.

She did as he asked and bit into it, her eyes widening as the sensations tore through her mouth. Deliberately, he took the other half and popped it into his mouth, biting down on it and discarding the green stem then lightly smearing the remaining melted chocolate from his fingers onto her lips sensuously. Drawing her closer, he moved in and lowered his lips to hers, sucking the sweetness he had put there and then deepening the kiss so that she could taste the combination of champagne, strawberries, chocolate, and Harry's mouth. It made her knees positively weak and the rest of her body desperate for more.

"I want you," he said hotly in her ear. "I can't wait any longer, Ginny. I need to be with you."

She melted in his arms as he picked her up in his strong arms, their mouths connecting again in a passionate game of tag. He moved them both to the bed and laid her down gently on top of the duvet, reaching in for another passionate kiss that was all mouth and tongue and groping hands. Her hair fell loose from the pins as his fingers tangled in it, and he moaned as he inhaled deeply.

"Don't ever change shampoos," he told her breathlessly. "I'll always connect this scent to you, Ginny. It's my favourite smell in the whole world."

"Never," she promised drawing him down for another deep, languorous kiss.

Their lovemaking was intense and passionate, conveying everything they couldn't say with words in their union. When it was over and they both lay spent, they clung to each other for support, revelling in the closeness that only this intimate act could provide.

"Oh, Ginny," he sighed when he could speak again, "You're the most amazing witch in the whole world. I can't believe you're mine."

He lay down on the bed pulling her with him so that they were spooning each other tightly, both reluctant to break contact with each other. For the first time in her life Ginny felt completely safe, absolutely full, and wholly satisfied. Nothing existed but Harry – she was wrapped up in him, surrounded by him, enveloped by him. It was a perfect moment.

"Do you know when I first fell in love with you?" he asked, kissing her bare shoulder gently.

"I know you started having feelings for me in your sixth year," Ginny answered thoughtfully.

"I can remember the precise moment when I realised you meant more to me than Ron's sister," he said seriously.

She laughed. "Really, Harry? The precise _moment_?"

"You think I'm lying?" he said playfully, propping himself up on his elbow and playing idly with her hair.

"No, not lying, exactly," she chuckled. "I just don't believe that you could possibly remember something like that."

"Oh, I do," he assured her. "It made quite an impression on me, you see. It was the time Ron and I walked in on you snogging Dean Thomas after Quidditch."

"You're kidding, right?" she snorted looking back at him dubiously.

"I was so jealous I wanted to hex him on the spot," he said. "Then, after seeing how Ron reacted, I was scared to death that he'd hate me if I showed any interest in you at all so I tried to convince myself that we'd be nothing more than friends. But I knew deep down that I'd never be able to look at you as simply a friend any longer. I spent a long, sleepless night afterwards thinking about what it might be like to be in that corridor alone with you, kissing you."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked. "I mean, after we got together, I asked you that day, remember? …The day you kissed me in the common room for the first time. You told me that you had been thinking about doing that for quite awhile, but I didn't know it had been that long. You hide your feelings very well when you want to, Mr. Potter. I had no idea you were jealous of Dean." She laughed. "And I thought I knew you so well."

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously. "There's loads you don't know about me."

"No doubt," she snorted. "I just always prided myself on being able to read your moods. I can usually tell at a glance how you're feeling, but jealousy was never an emotion I attributed to you."

"Yeah?" he said, arching his eyebrow. "Well, I was insane with jealousy. I felt as if someone had kicked me in the stomach seeing you with him. And then Ron started in on you and I found myself in the middle."

"You threw him up against the wall," she recalled. "Gods, that seems like so long ago! I had almost forgotten that."

"He was trying to hex you and he almost succeeded," Harry said with a scowl. "No one will ever touch you while I'm around – not even Ron."

"Oh, Harry, you sound positively ancient when you say that," she teased. "What will you do when I become a fully qualified Auror? Are you going to fight all the bad guys for me?"

"If I have to," he said holding her close. "I'd walk through hell for you, Ginny. You brought me back to life and saved me from a dreadful existence, Ginny, so it's the least I can do."

"Too, right Potter," she said playfully, snuggling up to him. "Someone had to bring your sorry arse back."

He laughed lightly. "I thought you liked this 'sorry arse'?"

"Oh, I do," she giggled. "It's a very lovely arse, in fact. One of your best features, in fact. Definitely worth saving. But I'm going to need something in return…"

She turned and kissed him again, feeling him tense in anticipation and stir to life against her exposed body for the second time tonight.

"I'll be glad… to make restitution, Mrs. Potter," he said breathlessly in between kisses. "In fact… I think I'd like nothing better."

"It could take a lifetime," she warned, enjoying the direction his mouth had taken.

He pulled away, looking deeply into her eyes. "I'd say that's a bargain."

"We need to work on your negotiating skills, Harry," she said with a wry smile. "You give in far too easily."

"Hmmm…." he said slyly as his mouth dipped lower, causing her to gasp in pleasure. "Maybe I _should_ learn the art of negotiation… you could teach me a thing or two."

She shivered as his mouth hit a sensitive spot, feeling her own body come back to life, too. "Just keep that up…" she told ordered him. "We can discuss the exact terms later."

He laughed heartily – a true, honest laugh that spoke volumes about how far he'd come – making her flush with happiness.

"Of _that_," he said, his eyes twinkling, "I have absolutely _no_ doubt."

THE END

A/N: That's it folks… part one is finished! I wish I could say that part 2 was finished as well, but truthfully I haven't written anything in two weeks since I started this new job. Now that things are settling down a bit, I expect to start back to work on my writing projects. The sequel is called Bring Me Back To Life and chronicles Ginny's story when things begin to go south for her. This is where things are resolved. Luckily I was able to recover it when my computer crashed last weekend. In the meantime, I may start publishing my other WIP soon, so look for it. I only lost one chapter of that one due to my own stupidity when I forgot to copy the file after I managed to open windows in safe mode. Oh well…

Thanks to Arnel, Christine, Terri, Sherry, and Melinda for your input, editing, and advice on this story, as well as everyone who reviewed and nominated it for SIYE's Silver Trinket Awards. I didn't manage to knock off the 'big dawgs' but I appreciate every vote nonetheless. Now, on to the sequel!


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